Brian Covey, Visualizing the End Result of Doing Hard Things (#213)

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Brian Covey is a Speaker, Author, Top-Rated Podcast Host, and VP for loanDepot, one of the top 5 lenders in the United States. Before all this, Brian was a pro soccer player who had the honor of playing in the US Olympic Team. Soccer has played a big part in his life. It taught him the importance of having coaches, mentors, and has contributed to developing his competitive drive. From Monopoly to sports, Brian likes to win.

Having grown up around sports, he noticed how everybody was competing mostly to get a spot in the team and get noticed by the coach. Such motives are not sufficient to sustain motivation in the long run, and can actually lead to burnout and quitting, something that several of his fellow sportsmen had to face. But not Brian. Thanks to the teaching of his father, he realized the only viable competition was the one against himself. That has put him on the path of maximizing his potential. A path that is surely not linear. If you want to win, in fact, you have to learn how to fail while falling in love with the entire process.

The Art of a Growth Mindset, Winning, and Staying Fit

Over the course of his journey, Brian has mastered the art of a growth mindset, the art of winning, and the art of staying fit. He believes in a holistic approach to life to achieve balance. He’s now sharing his knowledge and experiences through his podcast, The Brian Covey Show, and with his new book, “Conversations with Covey”.

When asked what is at the foundation of his motivation and drive, Brian gives these 5 rules he lives by, which as a listener of the How’d It Happen Podcast I’m sure you will appreciate.

1. Be kind to others and put out positive energy to attract the right people
2. Always be a learner and addicted to growth through personal development
3. Be hungry and have hustle in your game, giving & sharing yourtalents and gifts with others
4. Surround yourself with great people / association matters
5. Be passionate about your vision and live your purpose today

And now here’s Brian Covey.

Show Notes

[3:04] How’d it happen for Brian Covey?
[5:55] How does Brian feel about losing and what was the life lesson he wished he had known earlier?
[8:30] On quitting and falling in love with the process
[12:58] Diving deeper into visualization
[18:22] “Actions being greater than your feelings”
[20:34] Learning how to get “cut”
[25:00] Brian’s exercise group and routine
[29:32] What a younger Brian thought about career-wise
[35:08] The power of saying “yes” and learning when to say “no”
[40:04] You need to share what you stand for
[40;54] Decisions vs. choices
[44:38] The Brian Covey Show and Conversations with Covey
[53:00] The importance of networking
[55:25] On being selfish
[1:00:25] Outro

Full transcript below

Video on Visualizing the End Result of Doing Hard Things

Visit BrianCovey.com to Learn More About Brian

Get Brian Covey’s Book: Conversations With Covey

Discover More About Brian Covey Work at loanDepot

Follow Brian on Instagram

Connect with Brian on LinkedIn

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Podcast with Brian Covey. Visualizing the End Result of Doing Hard Things.

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Mike Malatesta: Hey everybody welcome back to the how’d it happen podcast I’m so happy to have you here, as I am with every episode, and I am also fulfilling my promise to you today with another amazing success story, Brian Kofi joins me on the podcast Brian Thank you so much for being on.

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Brian Covey: My thanks for having me be looking forward to this and glad we connected.

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Mike Malatesta: yeah me too we had this first scheduled in May, and I think I was the one who had to cancel in May, and here we are, in September, getting back to it so thanks for your patience and bearing with me.

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Mike Malatesta: Let me tell you a little bit about Brian before we get started so Brian is.

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Mike Malatesta: A lot of things more things than most people so he’s a Vice President at loan direct and we’ll talk about what loan directors he’s a soccer pro X soccer pro X Olympian.

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Mike Malatesta: soccer dad currently family man wealth advisor speaker author top rated podcast host and creative disrupter which I want to dig into a little bit because I want to know what that means.

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Mike Malatesta: So here’s a little summary, how do you go from pro soccer player to Vice President, one of the largest mortgage companies in America, more importantly, what did he learn along the way, the answer is a lot.

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Mike Malatesta: Once an Olympic USA soccer player Brian quickly learned how to get cut and literally get cut like that will explore that fitness and mindset became.

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Mike Malatesta: mysteries for Brian very early as his career was affected by the 2007 market crash just years after his soccer team days came to an end.

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Mike Malatesta: Right when right when he was raising toddlers with his wife Nicole so since then he’s mastered the art of growth mindset and the art of winning.

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Mike Malatesta: The art of staying fit all of which are very interesting to me and all my listeners he believes in integration and health overall things.

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Mike Malatesta: As I mentioned he’s an executive at home depot and all the other things that I said proud Father all that stuff he throws the suit down and coaches his daughters lead with joy several times a week, thank you for being a coach.

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Mike Malatesta: and

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Mike Malatesta: it’s brian’s mission with his new book conversations with cody to highlight some of the most incredible stories he’s gotten to share on his podcast the Brian cody show.

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Mike Malatesta: it’s all about balance he says so let’s get into it, Brian I start every show with a simple question, and that is how it happened for you.

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Brian Covey: I think we covered some of it, where I go back to a lot of us in our childhood, if you remember back where you started to kind of realize who you were and where you fit in and where you didn’t fit in.

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Brian Covey: i’m probably most people I fit into some groups I didn’t fit into other groups, and I was an athlete in an early age and I realized that would probably be my ticket.

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Brian Covey: To not only having friends, but to having some success in life, and there were some great coaches in my life if anybody’s ever had a great coach.

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Brian Covey: My parents were both very instrumental influential they both worked so they weren’t always there for practices and certain things, but they made it a point to be at games and travel.

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Brian Covey: Now, remember some of the coaches to just took time in May and my dad was one of the first ones to it early age where coaches can shape you.

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Brian Covey: And soccer for me created this competitive drive still to this day.

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Brian Covey: That i’m highly competitive I love to compete and whatever it is, but my my wife would tell you like it doesn’t matter if it’s monopoly or sports or anything.

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Brian Covey: we’d like to win, and I think that is for me how it started and then transitioned into business where.

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Brian Covey: In a way it was lucky in that I found someone That was a great coach and business and said hey come join our team i’ll teach you the business i’ll teach you real estate and mortgage and finance and all those things.

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Brian Covey: And that just fit right into who I was I didn’t know where it would lead to, but you know some almost 20 years later.

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Brian Covey: i’ve continually just taken steps in the direction that I wanted to go and and I believe we’re all on this journey trying to find the best versions of ourselves so every day I wake up and I compete.

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Brian Covey: And I want to be the best version of myself I just as a husband, but a dad as a business leader and that’s part of why I started some of the things I did with branching out into podcasts and writing my book and.

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Brian Covey: connecting up with great people as the only way we learn and grow, I think, is surrounding ourselves with great people great coaches.

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Brian Covey: And that’s really if you look into my story there’s a lot of other moving components to it, of what i’ve learned through success and through failure but that’s what I believe is really gotten to me where I am is what makes me uniquely Brian.

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Mike Malatesta: And I want to get I love the idea for your book, because my podcasts and yours are similar in.

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Mike Malatesta: You know topic I guess they’re probably not at all similar in in.

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Mike Malatesta: In the details, but they’re similar in topic and it’s really interesting how you took.

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Mike Malatesta: The approach you did to basically call the information from your folks so I want to talk about that a little bit later, but first I want to go back to the competitiveness, Brian to you.

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Mike Malatesta: So I consider myself pretty competitive I say pretty competitive because i’m not competitive about everything in my life i’ve learned along the way, that that can drive a person crazy if you’re competitive about everything, but I wondered about losing, how do you feel about losing.

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Brian Covey: So.

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Brian Covey: I have ended up trying to find some areas in my it’s different as a dad you know because I started at such a young age, and to frame it up for people that don’t know some back stories.

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Brian Covey: I was competing on the national team and the Olympic team at like 14 1516 years old very different world, by the way, when you’re traveling over to Europe each summer and competitiveness.

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Brian Covey: can come in different forms and still kind of approach the question this way of.

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Brian Covey: I didn’t know, then what I think I know better now at that point, I was always competing for a spot on a team you’re always competing for the coaches attention you’re competing for.

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Brian Covey: Playing time, whatever it might be you’re competing to score and and all of that, and that can be a driver for some people at that age, you see many, especially in kind of teenage years they quit right and that’s that’s a real thing they get burned out is what we hear.

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Brian Covey: And I think that competitiveness for some people can lead down a dark road if they don’t understand why they’re competing.

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Brian Covey: and have the drive for you’re competing, not just for a spot on the team today, not just a spot on the team next year.

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Brian Covey: But I was fortunate in my dad’s a psychologist and it was great coaches in my life as well that were really kind of teaching me the game of life, which is you’re always going to be competing.

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Brian Covey: But I didn’t really learn to later the competition was against myself it wasn’t against other people, because I couldn’t control how they showed up what effort they put in on and off the field.

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Brian Covey: Or, the only thing that I could control was the effort, I put in and what I was working on and how I was improving.

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Brian Covey: And so that’s probably one of those life lessons I wish i’d learned earlier and it ties into micah probably know that the abundance mentality have.

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Brian Covey: enough to go around when you get in the marketplace and you get out of team sports, the reality is that there’s enough market share and success.

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Brian Covey: For many people to win in that same industry and so it’s changed my vantage point some of the competition but i’ll tell you it’s still to this day.

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Brian Covey: Part of the way that I train and work out and still take care of my health and my fitness is very competitive it’s in a class setting there’s coaches there there’s a time there’s REPS on the board and you’re competing against yourself.

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Brian Covey: And I think that there’s some correlation to that in the rest of your life if you take it from a healthy standpoint.

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Mike Malatesta: Right yeah I agree with that you mentioned the kids that quit and I wanted to explore that a little bit because I want you, your experience you know I played high school sports and try it out in college and didn’t make it essentially football was my sport.

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Mike Malatesta: But you mentioned, you know kids that quit and I wondered what your experience was because mine seemed to be at least with some you know the ones that were told they were great.

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Mike Malatesta: You know all long as they were developing and they get to the point where you know greatness is sort of what every relative right you’re great and then you move up and you’re.

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Mike Malatesta: Maybe still great and you move up and you maybe you’re very good and then and and I thought I think some of them gave up on themselves because they didn’t feel great.

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Mike Malatesta: anymore so rather than doing the work that was required in order to stay great or be as good as you could they just said, you know what.

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Mike Malatesta: This is a makeup some kind of excuse for why you know it’s a coach or whatever is that did you experience that with some of the some of the folks who played with or Is that how you.

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Mike Malatesta: yeah, what do you feel about that.

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Brian Covey: So what I would say is this again, one of those lessons that that i’m thankful that I had great people around me and, to this day.

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Brian Covey: there’s just an innate passion and desire like even when i’m out coaching my kids are helping out playing in the side yard, and I still participate in men’s league soccer coed soccer and still play for fun.

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Brian Covey: So, think about that some 20 years later, after every tired i’m still out playing the game I love and what I think has happened is too many parents in too many young athletes are so focused on the results at that moment.

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Brian Covey: They don’t truly understand what winning looks like and falling in love with and committing to the process.

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Brian Covey: yeah all in love with that process, what I saw was athletes came in and they came out some grew at different times than others, some peaked earlier some peaked later.

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Brian Covey: But the ones that fell in love with the process, whatever reason, they just continually got better they seem to have fun, while they’re out there right and when is the last time you saw an athlete.

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Brian Covey: frustrated that actually performed at a high level right if you watch the best athletes and I was a huge Michael Jordan fan coming up right, so I mean Jordan, even when he’s sick, you can watch the look on his face just the focus but he’s having fun.

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Brian Covey: he’s intensely having fun.

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Brian Covey: And I think that’s what we need to teach athletes today is really how to fall in love with the process, the strength training that happens off the field speed and agility that’s going to be needed.

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Brian Covey: And I do think that the sports have evolved right, let me look at today and i’m training with my son this last weekend it’s 12 years old, he plays football I don’t know as much about football I played two seasons.

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Brian Covey: i’m like hey look here’s what I do to speed agility matter and your strength matters, so I can help you train that and I remember putting him on the assault bike which, if anybody knows what the assault bike is.

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Brian Covey: it’s torture, the harder you go the more feedback, it gives you, which is in the form of pain.

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Brian Covey: And I challenged him let’s see what you can do in a minute, and if you make things fun and you make that training in a way.

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Brian Covey: Where I say you’re integrating that into what I know is going to produce a result for him, not that day, not that week but over time he’s building up this mental capacity.

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Brian Covey: That, I would say, is what he’s going to need to succeed in the last thing i’d leave with Mike and we can dive into this more as.

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Brian Covey: I truly believe what separates people, not just in business in life today, but in sports I learned at an early age.

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Brian Covey: Things like visualization and the mental and the mindset and your identity of who you are what’s that self talk and I was taught at an early age fortunate again with my dad being a psychologist the power of visualization and the power of self talk.

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Brian Covey: Right and that, for me, that is transcended over into all areas of my life now where Look, we all have good days and bad days things that happened that don’t go our way.

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Brian Covey: But what’s your default that you go to and i’ve been able to program in some of that to where that self talk.

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Brian Covey: I can flip a switch and turn it back when I start to stray or have tools like visualization to know going into a meeting or going into a game.

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Brian Covey: I can visualize what I want that to look like, and I think that’s in a way it’s a little bit of a superpower, the people that figure it out and the athletes that do it well, it does give you an advantage, because at some point, your athleticism is only gonna take you so far.

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Mike Malatesta: yeah let me yeah so that’s really interesting, I see a couple questions about visualization because.

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Mike Malatesta: First of all, I feel like as you were talking about that I thought you were talking about process, how do you get kids or athletes or or even people in business right business success in business.

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Mike Malatesta: Like on the field is a process, you know it doesn’t just happen it’s the repetition of things that you know work in a systematic way essentially so when you’re talking about visualization do you think that long term visualization helps.

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Mike Malatesta: You know athletes or coaches teach athletes that you know, to respect and honor and enjoy the process, whereas if it’s just like this is a practice.

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Mike Malatesta: And i’m going to put you through the paces and all they’re seeing is the end of practice it’s a different thing, do you do you see that and then my second question to, that is, are you.

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Mike Malatesta: Are you a fan of short term midterm and long term visualization or do you see it differently, as, like all long term are all you know short term or mid term so sorry to throw two questions at the same time.

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Brian Covey: Oh, I love that, though, and the way I would approach that is.

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Brian Covey: What has worked for me right, and I can only go off of you know I can’t get in somebody else’s head, while they’re doing visualization and thinking about where they’re going to be and how long they do it, how often they do it.

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Brian Covey: But I know is I did it.

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Brian Covey: at an early age, the way that I was taught was I would think through plays in a game, for example, and I would think about the ball being passed to me and soccer where, am I going to go where are my options what’s going to happen.

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Brian Covey: And I would practice the repetitions of me doing it well because look it’s like a movie I get to write the story in the script if I want to make every passing score every goal and everything goes my way I can visualize that and that’s positive I like that.

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Mike Malatesta: Right.

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Brian Covey: The other part was from a very, very early age, I also was trained to think about what would happen and how would I respond if I lost the ball if I made a bad shot, how do you react.

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Brian Covey: And I think there is some programming in there right in our subconscious really starts to come alive, when you start to think about it.

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Brian Covey: And what I realized is on the field, especially in a game like soccer hockey or football, you have literally.

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Brian Covey: split seconds to make decisions on the field, so why is it that some athletes make faster decisions and others.

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Brian Covey: You could say it’s experience, how do you gain experience through games How else can you gain experience, I think this was the X factor of.

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Brian Covey: Our team, we would think about this, and we would visualize it on the side, and we would I would play up games in my head, I mean from five minutes.

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Brian Covey: to your point long term I would actually go longer, and I would just sit there quietly in think through an entire game and see myself performing that.

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Brian Covey: And if you ever got to a point where you get tired just walk away for a minute, you can come back and that was the beauty of of what was there and I took that into.

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Brian Covey: Sales meetings like if anybody’s ever spoken on a stage, you know at your kids school or your church or with a small group or.

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Brian Covey: Even now, when we’re presenting in front of clients i’ll actually take a few minutes and think about what’s the opening going to be how am I going to connect with them, how are they going to respond, what if they respond to this way, what if they respond that way.

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Mike Malatesta: What am I going to do.

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Brian Covey: i’m going to do again cool think about how powerful you would be if you were able to see an entire movie all the way through.

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Brian Covey: And then the person beside you hasn’t ever seen the movie and you both come into a room and someone asked you questions about the movie who’s who’s going to have the greater knowledge and experience and get answered the questions.

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Mike Malatesta: yeah and the person who saw.

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Brian Covey: That, so I think there’s there’s things that we can tap into all of us as human beings that we haven’t really tapped into that potential and again that subconscious so i’m a huge believer of it.

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Brian Covey: It slows my brain down i’m quite on the go and a fast thinker, and so, for me, it’s also a way to slow my brain down into see things before they happen.

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Brian Covey: And what’s amazing to me is the more you do it, the more those things come to life and it’s like yeah I expected that i’ve seen that before.

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Brian Covey: I know what to do in this situation.

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Mike Malatesta: yeah.

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Brian Covey: it’s very powerful and I would encourage you, my just definitely check it out on you know i’m sure, probably, like most people’s a teenager At first we all kind of laughed and thought it was hokey and this that and the other.

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Brian Covey: I wouldn’t discount it now i’m very thankful that I learned that at early age.

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Mike Malatesta: I love the way you type frustration to visualization to and you use the Jordan example and there’s plenty of non Jordan examples out there and what I mean by that is again whether it’s in sports or in business people who.

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Mike Malatesta: You mentioned, you know how do you get to be the fastest what’s experience, and all this but, but the frustration thing I think is really important, too, because people who get frustrated stop.

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Mike Malatesta: yeah and when you when you and they’re focused on the past right, so they stopped and they’re focused on the past, and people who visualize that they will get frustrated.

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Mike Malatesta: Things are not going to go your way right so when it happens, how am I going to keep moving forward.

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Mike Malatesta: Or you know, instead of, say, basketball, for example, you, you get frustrated and you, you know you go like this and the plays down at the other end of the quarter now and you’re completely useless right that’s.

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Mike Malatesta: And and business, I see that all the time people get frustrated and then they just stop and they they live in the past, instead of knowing that that’s part of moving towards the future yeah.

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Brian Covey: yeah too many emotions, I think that we allow ourselves to get consumed in those emotions and you know our our team has this basically.

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Brian Covey: I call it more of a slogan and kind of a belief, but we believe in actions being greater than our feelings and when you’re feeling start to take over.

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Brian Covey: What, what are your default actions right and if i’m feeling like i’m in a Funk or i’ve had a tough conversation or something you know, one of the tools, I use, and I share this with with our team is.

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Brian Covey: i’ll even go for a walk right like grab my dog for a walk through your head, I think, too often.

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Brian Covey: We don’t know what that default looks like and maybe it’s a visualization for you and you just take the step back, but there’s tools to help us through it right we’re not wired.

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Brian Covey: To go like people say nine to five non stop no breaks nothing in there, but but stress and chaos that’s really not how we’re wired.

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Brian Covey: Right our productivity or many people or I would even say that’s why people typically quit.

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Brian Covey: Because it gets so hard they make it so hard on themselves when.

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Brian Covey: The reality is a few intermittent breaks in there some strategic planning and how they’re going to visualize how they’re going to break up their day and you start having success well what happens after you start having some wins well.

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Brian Covey: Right, you would again right like.

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Mike Malatesta: You want to do more right right right yeah I remember you had mentioned coaches, a couple times in my high school football coach coach off.

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Mike Malatesta: You know, during the time that I was in high school, and this was probably an indication of my immaturity but you know, he would bark at me he’d say things like I you’re paying for your summer fun now a test, I see and i’d be like her, you know.

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Mike Malatesta: But in I thought I was picking on me, you know but that’s not what was happening at all, it wasn’t he wasn’t picking on me at all, he was saying you’ve got more capability than what you’re showing me right now and there’s probably a reason for that that’s your responsibility right so.

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Mike Malatesta: Now that we’re here.

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Mike Malatesta: How do we get past that because I need all the capability, you can you can give me on the on the field, you know and in practice whether practice or the game.

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Mike Malatesta: So yeah I remember it finally now but, at the time, not so finally i’m sure you have a bunch of memories like that as well.

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Brian Covey: Oh yeah.

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Mike Malatesta: When you get you mentioned in your bio you know that you’ve learned how to get cut in and literally get cut and i’m I think I know what that been spying but i’d like to know what it means from you.

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Brian Covey: So this was.

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Brian Covey: part of my journey and I share this with people and probably a lot of people can relate to this is, you know I got cut from teams in an early age actually had made it on the national team for the 17th.

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Brian Covey: For the US and then i’d made it into the Olympic team pool and I got cut before they went to Japan that you’re here for concacaf and all that.

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Brian Covey: And so I learned at 15 what it was like to have a dream to make it all the way, where you think you’re going to make it there and then, in essence, you get cut and you have a response that’s required.

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Brian Covey: And I remember, even then, when I was supposed to go to one College and the coach transferred out and then I ended up.

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Brian Covey: which was a blessing in disguise, end up going to memphis where I live, so my parents were there and I had a great foundation kept me out of trouble.

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Brian Covey: And a lot of things, but in a way it was like I would have gotten cut from the team, had I gone to this other school, like those things just started to happen.

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Brian Covey: And in business, I remember not getting jobs, and you can call it getting cut you can call it getting fired in college things I wasn’t chosen, I was not the person they picked.

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Mike Malatesta: Right.

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Brian Covey: In each one of those opportunities was a lesson in there and I wish the book extreme ownership.

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Brian Covey: jacko in life, I wish it had been out years ago when I was going through that you know 10 plus years ago, but some of those you don’t know the lesson until years and years later.

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Brian Covey: And so that was the part of like getting cut now the second part of it, I will tell you is that helped me build a mindset that part of what I realized that I was wired and.

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Brian Covey: at an early age, which is interesting if you tie this together with the sports success and I was able to have at a young age, I also was an overweight kid at 12 and 13 years old.

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Brian Covey: i’ll really basketball and soccer oh is.

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Brian Covey: Like it was bad like I literally went in and our physician was also our basketball coach so AAU highly competitive, we would travel and play all these games.

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Brian Covey: And I remember going in is like Brian and he’s telling my parents like your cholesterol is through the roof.

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Brian Covey: I was about for me, I think, maybe five eight at that age 1213 years old hundred and 80 hundred 90 pounds like not good not good like how I was able to compete.

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Brian Covey: was not good, and so I learned over the next couple of years what eating healthy looked like and I have high blood pressure, my family and all these things that I know like obesity and things like I can’t I can’t mess with this like.

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Brian Covey: I don’t need to go down a route and so that’s where my fitness journey really started and I ended up losing close to 30 pounds got super fit.

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Brian Covey: started take care of things there now fast forward when we had our two first kids my wife and I and we’re living in Florida and i’m starting to gain weight again right my brains, just like oh man what’s going on.

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Mike Malatesta: Right.

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Brian Covey: are putting on probably 20 pounds and they call it, like the what is it the pregnancy wait for the husband.

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Mike Malatesta: yeah I know I know the word a simile.

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Brian Covey: yeah it’s like sympathy weight on.

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Brian Covey: And i’m this athlete and i’m thinking man i’m in my early 30s and is this what it’s like to be a dad and you see all these the dad bod and all and you like.

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Brian Covey: This where it’s going well, it was another opportunity for me in my life to recommit and say you know what that’s not going to be the life that I go down, and so I again.

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Brian Covey: At that point, started to work out, and I was doing all these crazy things like p90x and I tried insanity and i’m just like doing these half marathons and running.

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Brian Covey: And I found crossfit at about 35 I think I had a friend that invited me, and so I again went on this journey to get cut and that was just my brain of like how it thinks is how do I become fit.

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Brian Covey: And over that time it’s been a journey of you know how do you integrate that in and be fit because I do believe that part of who we are, translate because look if I don’t have my health and I don’t have my mental health.

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Brian Covey: And all the other skills are for not they don’t they don’t matter and my kids are watching right and so that was.

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Brian Covey: that’s kind of the bio piece that we joke it’s like man I got cut from sports teams and then had to figure out how to lose weight and get cut in the gym because sometimes that’s your only outlet to deal with stress and to get fit again.

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Mike Malatesta: And is crossfit something that you’ve i’m i’m assuming you’ve maintained your your crossfit regimen routine.

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Brian Covey: I have so i’m in a group called iron tribe here, which I absolutely love and it’s kind of a mix between crossfit, and I say in like a boot camp, with some high intensity with some running and rowing and biking.

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Brian Covey: And for me has been phenomenal I love the class aspect of both of those and then I love the strength training with the endurance training and all those things that come with it.

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Brian Covey: But there’s accountability, you have coaches there if you don’t show up what’s cool about our group.

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Brian Covey: I would tell you Mike is this is why I subscribe to this proximity is power and the you associate with matters is.

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Brian Covey: If i’m not there people call me out like they’re going to send me text messages and hit me up on Facebook like Where are you and and I love that because that’s again back to the competition and that drive and means I love to show up and have other people around me.

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Brian Covey: And they’re competing to right like they want to be their best.

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Brian Covey: yeah that feels something a little extra inside, you and I tell guys.

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Brian Covey: I can work out here, on my own and i’m going to get by it’s going to be a good workout some days it’s going to be a great workout but it’s just not the same level of intensity is when you put yourself in a room.

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Brian Covey: with other people that are competing and fighting for their best for that day same in business.

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Mike Malatesta: I have a friend in who’s in his 50s like I am who’s been you know very, very hard.

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Mike Malatesta: All in crossfit for a long time and he’s in turn looks like he’s in tremendous shape like you look at the guy and you’re like Oh, he competes in the crossfit sort of global contest you do you do that as well.

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Brian Covey: Not anymore, I did in my in my 30s and then earlier this year, you know it’s interesting I tore my bicep tendon.

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Brian Covey: Ironically soccer and a weird hyper extension that happened there, but I will tell you this is it’s good that I had a base in so many areas.

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Brian Covey: And that allowed me to rehabilitate I think faster i’m almost six months at the end of this month i’ll be six months out from surgery.

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Brian Covey: And everything i’ve read and everything i’ve gone through and what I was able to do to regain my fitness and not be to do some of the things that I was used to write I could.

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Brian Covey: write barbell.

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Mike Malatesta: yeah yeah.

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Brian Covey: yeah I couldn’t do pull ups I couldn’t ride the bike with the polling I couldn’t row for months, all these things I couldn’t do, and I said, well, what can I do.

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Brian Covey: And I put myself all in on that, and you know things like walking with my wife became like the highlight of my day literally like you can walk that’s about all you can do when you’re a sling and you do much.

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Brian Covey: I think that’s what again my mindset was just trained for that, and so you know I tell her it’s like you need to be battle tested when things come your way like.

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Brian Covey: Are you going to quit or are you going to do what you can do with what you have and i’ve always been one it’s like we’re not promised tomorrow, so you gotta do what you can do today and and find the joy and the blessing in each day.

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Mike Malatesta: yeah.

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Brian Covey: And what you can do, but, but I would say that the crossfit peace and iron tribe now what a foundation because i’ve had been out of shape.

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Brian Covey: I can’t imagine what the rehabilitation would have been like.

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Mike Malatesta: We have something in common there’s also tore my bicep tendon decade or maybe a little over a decade ago, and it was the weirdest thing because I was.

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Mike Malatesta: Standing up on a bench taking a painting off the wall, because we were going to move it and I just picked it up in a really weird way and it just.

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Mike Malatesta: Yet I almost passed out it’s.

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Mike Malatesta: Because it’s not fun.

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Mike Malatesta: it’s not one of those fun things probably.

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Mike Malatesta: I mean it may not be an Achilles but it’s it’s it’s not fun.

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Mike Malatesta: And so I remember, finally, this the when we moved I actually got rid of the sling that I had had for the the whole time and.

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Mike Malatesta: But you’re right, you know when something happens like like that you are, you get very appreciative, I suppose, like when you lose anything you get very appreciative of what you have and what you can still do.

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Mike Malatesta: Because it’s easy to be like oh my gosh I can’t work out now because you know my my arm soon as sleep.

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Brian Covey: Right what was me and I did take away too, and this is, from the very body is like.

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Brian Covey: We got to take ownership in that moment nobody’s coming to save me and help me right, like like all my friends that I trained with and work out with they were super encouraging.

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Brian Covey: Well, if they’re not going to show up and get on the bike with me, although some of them, I will give them credit it’s great to have a wonderful circle and tribe around you.

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Brian Covey: Is everybody for my wife to some my best friends are like hey if you want to just like ride the bike and us come over there, and like ride with you or walk with your whatever and the power of having people in your corner and your tribe is.

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Brian Covey: pretty much the deal, you know.

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Mike Malatesta: I sure yeah so when you got out of college Brian were you what what were you looking at in terms of a career had you been thinking about things outside of soccer.

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Mike Malatesta: Along the way or were you one of those guys, who was just like i’m all in on this and that doesn’t work i’ll figure it out, you know someday.

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Brian Covey: yeah it’s going to work oh man, remember, and I was actually sharing this with my oldest is our daughter.

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Brian Covey: The other day and she’s going to ask me some questions around that too, because she’s 14 and and she’s a freshman and she’s visited some colleges and things.

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Brian Covey: And I remember vividly in college I loved we had a great business program there and I was surrounded by people.

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Brian Covey: That were great professors I started to fall in love with like economics and finance and marketing and all these things.

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Brian Covey: And I had some my friends dads and they worked, you know financial planning in the banking industry and all these, and I was like man that looks really cool they dress up and wear suits and drive nice cars.

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Brian Covey: Right it looked like this, this could be for me and it started to a lineup so I remember trying to do some internships and I got drafted out to go play soccer professionally.

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Brian Covey: And all the while i’m thinking wow I don’t really have much experience a couple times that i’d had injuries, I would go and I would sell clothing like I worked in a retail shop in the mall.

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Brian Covey: And so, like I don’t really have much experience outside of coaching soccer and I remember coming back after i’d played at a couple credits left.

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Brian Covey: i’d promised my parents, I would graduate right that was my one commitment is look i’ll go play, but i’m promising like i’m coming i’m coming back to graduate.

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Brian Covey: Well, when I graduated that summer after playing the last season, I went started interviewing well funny enough, no one wanted to hire me because I had no experience.

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Brian Covey: Well, I went to a job, fair, just out of the blue on campus one of our professors said hey you should show up to this there’s going to be some people there.

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Brian Covey: And I remember finding a company and meeting the managers and everyone they’re like we love to hire athletes we love people that are competitive.

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Brian Covey: We will teach you we will train you and i’m like hold on like you’ll hire me like no experience over here and i’m so thankful, and I think it was one of those God moments in a way of like.

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Brian Covey: This is where you need to go, you need to learn your skills and your trade and learn how to sell and learn the industry.

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Brian Covey: And i’m thankful to this day that I started at the very bottom like literally.

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Brian Covey: At the bottom is almost like an admin type just learning the business picking up the phone setting appointments and was able to get trained, which later on, definitely is.

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Brian Covey: played into my development, but that was probably like many people I didn’t seek it out per se and it started to happen and I had a moment I was going to go back and play.

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Brian Covey: And then, it was just like you know what that desire in a way, had gone down enough to where I was like I don’t have to go back I don’t I don’t feel like there’s anything left.

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Brian Covey: I think I could have gone either way and continue to play, or go down the journey i’ve gone down and either way just to make the most of it.

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Mike Malatesta: And it sounded like as you were explaining that that.

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Mike Malatesta: You know you didn’t have this expectation that you know i’m something special here and you’re gonna you’re asking me to start at the bottom, you were sort of more like yeah i’ve got this skill set but I don’t have any real job skill set.

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Mike Malatesta: Except you know my discipline and my you know visualization and all those other things, but they don’t have anything I can quantify on a resume for you.

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Mike Malatesta: And they offer you something, and you are grateful that they offered you something, and one thing I always tell people is.

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Mike Malatesta: And it’s it seems like it’s harder now than maybe before so you know, maybe i’m showing my age, but I always I always advise people don’t worry about.

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Mike Malatesta: You know where the opportunity is going to take you five years from now, just say yes to the opportunity and then work as hard as you can and that you know.

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Mike Malatesta: Where you’re going to end up is going to start to be much more clear to you, then, if you decide i’m going to wait until the thing that’s I that I feel like I deserve in five years is right in front of me because you’ll know you won’t recognize that I either.

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Brian Covey: Oh no and that’s that’s such great advice to, and I said yes to a lot of things I went on a lot of.

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Brian Covey: interviews internally in the first organization that I was with for almost 13 years and I want them several panel interviews and didn’t get selected.

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Brian Covey: A couple of them I did get selected, but what I learned is just be grateful because, even though I didn’t get those opportunities when I did I met wonderful people I got feedback about where I was where I needed to improve.

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Brian Covey: And one of the best things I did earlier my career that I would advise anybody to do is is ask those tough questions of you know where do you see me excelling where are the areas you see that maybe I need to work on.

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Brian Covey: and get the feedback right and that was like 360 feedback and disk profiles and myers briggs and you know kind of nerd it out on all that stuff and realized.

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Brian Covey: You know that could be a real powerful tool to understand myself, and then I could understand others through that and that that helped you don’t always.

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Brian Covey: Get that position but you’re right if you’re grateful in the moment and just say yes, I remember taking a couple of temporary opportunities.

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Brian Covey: Within the organization like hey we need you to help out over here just say yes go figure it out and that that definitely is a catalyst, I think, for all of us in our personal growth is you’re never going to really feel like you’re 100% ready.

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Mike Malatesta: Right like.

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Brian Covey: You gotta test yourself if you do feel that much prepared and that ready you’re probably not going big enough, and you need you need to expand out.

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Mike Malatesta: I know I I moved four times in the first five years of my career, because I was always saying yes, I just thought that was that just was what I thought you should do.

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Mike Malatesta: And I think a lot of people might have looked at me and been like you’re crazy to do that there’s no, you know there’s no reason to do that, but I always I felt like there was, I felt like somebody was saying to me sort of like the coach I described.

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Mike Malatesta: You have more capability than what you’re showing me right now and i’m actually going to try to get it out of you.

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Mike Malatesta: yeah I really I really believe in that yes, and particularly, you know as you’re young in your career because.

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Mike Malatesta: If you get used to saying no.

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Mike Malatesta: don’t expect the world to keep asking you know it’s not going to keep asking yeah.

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Brian Covey: i’ll come a time where know is actually very powerful and.

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Brian Covey: Yes, free up space for your yeses but yeah early on i’m glad I said yes and some of those were tough, yes, you know I remember my wife and I we moved to Florida.

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Brian Covey: And we didn’t have kids yet and we immediately got pregnant probably six months from being there.

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Brian Covey: And that was tough we had just built our dream home, we thought, where we were going to raise our kids and all these things, the next thing you know it’s like.

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Brian Covey: An opportunity shows up and I kept wanting to say no, I want to say no, and I think that was again, one of those catalyst of growth is when you step outside of that comfort zone you just don’t know what’s going to happen, you don’t know what yeah opportunity will come.

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Mike Malatesta: Right right right right, but if you stay in the comfort zone, you still you all know, in the next opportunity to kind of come, either because they want.

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Brian Covey: To look different.

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Mike Malatesta: yeah so i’m really impressed by people who have codes or tenants or other types of things that they use to live their life or guide their life, I always I don’t not written down not you know something that I can easily articulate.

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Mike Malatesta: I think I do up here, but you know.

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Mike Malatesta: truth is.

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Mike Malatesta: If it’s just up here it’s probably not refined to the to the place, I want it, you do, you have these five tenants that you live by.

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Mike Malatesta: it’s super impressive to me I I, and I want, I want to know where that where it came from Brian where did that come from and and How has it helped you.

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Brian Covey: I think, for all of us we have these moments of like.

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Brian Covey: Clarity and it could be in a difficult situation, or it could be in a success.

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Brian Covey: And we have these thoughts that they actually guide us and we default to them, but we’re just not aware of them and I had again a mentor.

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Brian Covey: That helped me I started to write down some things about what were my beliefs, and it was early in my leadership career.

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Brian Covey: And I realized as a leader like I didn’t I didn’t really communicate I didn’t have clarity on like who I was and what I believed.

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Brian Covey: And so the tenants really came out of that exercise is it was a coach that actually challenged me and said hey let’s let’s take some time let’s write down what you believe and what.

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Brian Covey: What Brian stands for and some of those things, and it was also a way for me to be able to communicate, who are the people that I want to be around.

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Brian Covey: And how do I want to live my life, and I would say, for anybody like when you go on social media.

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Brian Covey: People are looking at you and judging you in different ways, and if you can’t clearly communicate and articulate why you’re different or what you stand for in a way, you need to repel some people at the same time as you’re attracting them.

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Brian Covey: And so that was really just birthed out of.

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Brian Covey: An exercise from a coach that was challenging me, and it was, if I remember correctly, I had hired a couple people and they didn’t work out and and I remember just wondering like what am I doing wrong like.

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Brian Covey: i’m hiring people in on the numbers side of things so anybody in sales will get this their numbers are there.

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Mike Malatesta: Right.

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Brian Covey: Your integrity and your character and what they stood for we we were not in alignment and so to write down your beliefs and some of those tenets it’ll help you become very clear on how you make decisions every day and i’ve kind of taken that for me as a guiding light of like.

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Brian Covey: For all of us we have decisions every day lots of them So how do you choose this over that.

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Brian Covey: Well, if you don’t know you’re going to say yes to everything right or maybe you’re a no person and you say no to too many things.

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Brian Covey: And so I think that that was where it was birthed from you know Mike and i’ve shared that with our team and put it on social media and things because I just think it’s one of those like.

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Brian Covey: We need to put out there, what we stand for what we believe.

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Mike Malatesta: Sure, I think it’s kind of interesting too that you, you know did it as an exercise with a mentor and a coach.

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Mike Malatesta: And it didn’t just sit on a shelf somewhere, I think a lot of times you do those things you know feels good you get it done and then.

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Mike Malatesta: it’s, a thing that you did, and you made it you’ve incorporated into your you know your the rest of your life I think that’s pretty good pretty cool.

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Brian Covey: What I would share I was looking back at something here that somebody shared with me recently on that and they had actually sent me something about it and they connected with it, and so I think a lot of times we’re.

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Brian Covey: we’re too to guarded with we keep this information, the things we believe in all this and in society today we don’t share things and it’s like man, unless you share what you stand for right in the movie Hamilton right you’ll fall for anything.

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Brian Covey: I think there’s more leaders that need to stand for something and to communicate out there, like what, what do you stand for, and who are you and I think for many leaders.

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Brian Covey: Unless you’ve gone through that exercise you don’t really have clarity on who you are and then it’s going to be hard for you to attract the right kind of people and know the people you want to be around and on your team right.

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Brian Covey: You don’t really know and you’ll just take anyone that’s that’s not good.

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Mike Malatesta: If if you don’t mind, I want to go on a little tangent here.

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Mike Malatesta: yeah because it’s something that you said when you were explaining that about making decisions and stuff kind of piqued my interest because i’m I got.

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Mike Malatesta: My first book coming out in November.

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Mike Malatesta: and

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Mike Malatesta: it’s kind of a philosophical memoir about you know my entrepreneurial journey but, but its intention isn’t to be a story about me it’s to be a story about that journey and one of the things that one of the chapters, I have is.

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Mike Malatesta: I kind of work through my thinking on the difference between decisions and choices.

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Mike Malatesta: And i’d like to get your perspective on it, because I feel like there is a difference it’s not just semantics, there is a difference between making decisions and making choices and in life and in business we’re we’re sort of programmed to make decisions.

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Mike Malatesta: Rather than choices.

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Mike Malatesta: And what I mean by that is you know people expect quick stuff you kind of get rated on maybe how quickly you.

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Mike Malatesta: can do things but also decisions can be things that you don’t take ownership of yeah I made the decision, but it was because of, and you can just go ahead and create whatever excuse you want, but a choice.

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Mike Malatesta: To me, is something different choices, a very deliberate intentional thing it’s not a quick reactionary thing like perhaps a decision, but I might be crazy I you you feel like you can have a perspective on this, that that I that i’d appreciate.

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Brian Covey: So I would probably flip them if it were.

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Brian Covey: The way I would view it is every day we make a series of choices right like we choose to wake up in the morning I don’t necessarily look at that, as a decision to wake up, although if I decide to hit the snooze button.

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Brian Covey: I look at choices are the things that are coming in and actually like i’m choosing to be on you know this call and i’m choosing to say this versus choose that i’m choosing to call this person back all those.

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Brian Covey: And the choices are the ones that stack up over time and actually become more of the habits that form.

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Brian Covey: Whereas decisions I look at for at least for me decisions to me you’re a little bit more strategic in nature and many times have.

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Brian Covey: Longer impacts of decisions require me to gather data and analyze the situation and decide to do this and it’s more of that longer term commitment just the way I view it like yeah.

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Brian Covey: Because, if you look at the way the brain works, a little bit the choices we make really many times they’re coming from our subconscious but to decide typically you’re deciding between one thing, and the other.

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Brian Covey: In a decision typically in the psychology of it is you’re deciding to go do this versus that in choices to me are just doing things through the day.

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Mike Malatesta: Like today.

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Brian Covey: backing of things, but look somebody could totally prove me wrong until hey Brian that is not accurate but that’s how that’s how my brain thinks about it.

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Brian Covey: Okay, and.

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Mike Malatesta: I appreciate.

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Mike Malatesta: You share because.

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Brian Covey: Now.

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Brian Covey: yeah yeah.

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Brian Covey: Now you’ve got me curious and i’m going to have to go and like Okay, let me, let me dig into this one, because.

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Mike Malatesta: yeah well and I, you know i’m not suggesting for a second that I have the answers, but I but it’s an interesting discussion because it’s.

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Mike Malatesta: There to similar words, but I think they mean something different, you have your feeling of what they mean you know I had my feeling of what they mean, but at least we’re on the same page, not to see.

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Mike Malatesta: Which so um let’s talk about your your podcast for a little bit and your and your book that came out of the podcast so conversations with cody and.

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Mike Malatesta: subtitle to that is how to win at life, no matter where you are now which I love, by the way, so you got your podcast started tell.

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Mike Malatesta: Tell tell us a little bit about what that is and why you got started with it because it’s kind of weird to and sorry I don’t mean weird but a guy that’s you know got a high level sales position with a company that’s got 6500 or some ungodly number of of TEAM members.

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Mike Malatesta: yeah usually isn’t on you know doing this kind of thing.

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Mike Malatesta: having their own podcast even writing a book it’s not something that that normally happens, most people are sort of focused on.

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Mike Malatesta: You know what they’re doing at lone depot or whatever the whatever company.

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Mike Malatesta: You have so i’m so so i’m curious what what what got into that what made you want to meet you want to get started, and not just get started, but then take it in a direction that I haven’t even taken mine and and I should.

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Brian Covey: yeah so it all started with actually some people making fun of me and laughing when I said hey I think i’m going to do a podcast here’s what i’m thinking about doing.

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Brian Covey: And I remember people laughing at with which is probably the worst thing to do to a guy like me that’s that can be had.

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Brian Covey: Right it’s like if you.

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Brian Covey: can’t do something.

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Brian Covey: Like buckle up you’re going to go on the ride with me you’re either.

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Brian Covey: Right.

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Mike Malatesta: or you’re against me on it yeah thanks for the fuel, I really.

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Brian Covey: that’s what I said is like okay.

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Brian Covey: And here’s where I saw an opportunity, and I think this is for all of us we see an opportunity in the difference between people like you and me and just someone else that hasn’t done it is that we decided to go do it.

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Brian Covey: Yes, literally it and I saw an opportunity in our industry and your point, yes, you know i’m an executive at large mortgage company at home depot and.

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Brian Covey: What I saw was customers and people that I wanted to build teams with right, so I do a lot of recruiting and business development, build teams across eight plus states.

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Brian Covey: And I saw this trend on social media that people are going online on their phones at an alarming rate honestly on the amount of hours they spend in a day.

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Brian Covey: And I recognize this trend of people still do business with people that they know they like, and they trust, I believe that still happens, but I also believe that there was a gap between the company’s branding themselves and actually being people.

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Brian Covey: And one started to see was this gap needed to be filled with people like myself that i’m not an influencer or you know what what are these people call themselves gurus or any of that stuff.

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Brian Covey: But I do believe i’ve built a lot of great connections over the years.

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Brian Covey: there’s a lot of life experience and there’s a lot of things i’m going through my journey that I could share with other leaders and people at other mortgage companies honestly real estate companies, whatever industry.

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Brian Covey: In that gap existed, but I saw no one really filling properly in the sense of this kind of surrogate or attractive leadership, meaning that.

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Brian Covey: If I recruit and want to do business development.

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Brian Covey: And I can now put my message and again back to the five tenets if I can share these things about what I believe in what we’re doing and attract people in and give them an inside behind the curtain viewed our culture.

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Brian Covey: And I could attract the right people well my recruiting efforts now just expanded how many people can see a video versus I can call them think about that on a Monday I was brought up in the old school of you’re calling 50 people on a Monday that’s just what you do, you call them.

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Brian Covey: Reality is that’s not where people are answering their phones.

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Mike Malatesta: yeah yeah right.

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Brian Covey: show up on social right.

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Brian Covey: So that to me was a shift that no one was really leaning in on So if you want to be a innovator and kind of the creative disrupter piece that’s where I want to disrupt the business.

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Brian Covey: and attract people to us that we could then choose who we wanted to invite on the team.

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Brian Covey: And who we didn’t want to invite now that doesn’t mean that we’re not calling people it doesn’t mean we aren’t texting people doesn’t mean we aren’t doing type of lead campaigns and so we’re doing all that.

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Brian Covey: But at the same time, what I know to be true, and I believe is people go online and research you at an alarming rate today whether they’re buying a home and they’re looking for a real estate agent.

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Mike Malatesta: you’re.

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Brian Covey: going to get financing for their mortgage and they want to look online or they’re just looking to see who you are they’re going to look you up online.

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Brian Covey: And how do you show up online well, I believe it matters and I made the decision I was going to take control of how I showed up and people saw me online.

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Brian Covey: And if you can follow me through this thought process my this was where I saw we really started to win big.

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Brian Covey: Is before I had conversations people were going online they knew what I stood for they knew I had three kids they knew I was passionate about soccer they knew all this stuff about me.

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Brian Covey: How much better is that call when you know, like you know you know some things about me I know some things about you.

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Brian Covey: So I would just say we took a different approach to how we wanted to grow, the business and grow the team.

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Brian Covey: And that’s why I did it kind of number one number two would be in the network that I built, I felt like it had value, I felt like there were people that I could have conversations with that’s why I was conversations with Kobe.

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Mike Malatesta: You know.

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Brian Covey: And I could share those conversations and we would bring in their stories.

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Brian Covey: And it would be hope filled messages and inspiration not always have success but also how they failed, and they were empowered by that failure.

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Brian Covey: And then we would give them tactical advice of how do you win in this area of your life, and we would bring on experts and for most people look they couldn’t afford to get all of these people to spend time with them one on one that’d be quite expensive.

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Brian Covey: Right to they may never get access to these folks right they may not have access and then third and not know who they are, and I wanted to showcase their greatness.

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Brian Covey: The last one number three I would tell you and you’ve probably seen this in your own podcasting is, I wanted to improve as a communicator a listener, a speaker.

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Brian Covey: Someone that researched well and just overall my skills, I wanted to improve well, thank goodness, I did it because during coven no longer Am I speaking on stages, no longer am I doing face to face presentations anymore, how do you get better.

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Mike Malatesta: Right.

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Brian Covey: I mean we’re on zoom calls every week.

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Brian Covey: Thank goodness that we took that step, so the last part I would say what was a bit selfish, in the sense I needed a vehicle to work on my own personal growth and development, so I could become the leader and improve my skills, and that was.

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Brian Covey: And that was the the journey for me and wow has it given me more than I ever expected back.

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Mike Malatesta: And I think that’s you know for everybody listening what he just said is super important because, when I.

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Mike Malatesta: i’m 55 you’re younger than I am, and I was you know I had my own company, so I wasn’t in a big company, but we worked with big companies and the thing that I found in my company was bought by a big company and what I found through my own experience was.

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Mike Malatesta: People that work in big companies or even people who work in private companies they think that.

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Mike Malatesta: It their life is just the company and the company is always more important than them and that’s probably true, but it doesn’t mean.

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Mike Malatesta: That they can’t be individuals, you know because they you can be an individual like what you described you became an you became more of an individual more Brian curvy.

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Mike Malatesta: But it was for a lot of reasons that helped you know your business your professional career, you know all of that stuff and I think you know so many people hide behind like i’ll just be in your company you got 6500 employees, I will bet.

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Mike Malatesta: and hopefully you won’t tell me i’m full of crap but I will bet that most people don’t have big networks.

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Mike Malatesta: They don’t have big networks because their network is who they work with.

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Mike Malatesta: Even in a 6500 person company if they only work with certain people, so their network is really small and they think.

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Mike Malatesta: Well, this is all the network, I need because see i’m here and i’m feeling, you know and they don’t realize how small their network is until their opportunity changes or they.

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Mike Malatesta: You know, want to make a change or whatever, and they just don’t have it, you have to Harvey mackay always said, you have to dig your web dig the well before you’re thirsty.

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Mike Malatesta: And it sounds like that’s what the approach you took I think it’s a very smart approach.

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Brian Covey: Well, for most folks today you’re still doing business with people and, at the end of the day, if you listen to anybody, I mean Gary vee shares this and some other people it’s not news or news anybody.

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Brian Covey: Right, but your relationships and getting attention for the right reasons is really the new kind of commodity in a way of like how we connect with people how we choose to work with someone over another person couldn’t just be i’ve seen brian’s videos and I like him.

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Mike Malatesta: Like easy to find yeah he’s friendly yeah.

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Brian Covey: So look i’m one of those i’m gonna work hard, but I also believe in working smart and paying attention to what trends exist.

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Brian Covey: And I also shared this with our team and I got several on our team going on the journey with me, not all of them right full disclosure, not all of them are on social as much as I am or as much as I think they even should be.

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Brian Covey: But the reality is the ones that got on the board early put themselves in the game you’re exponentially growing these amazing teams are.

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Mike Malatesta: You know.

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Brian Covey: By accident like.

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Brian Covey: There really is a science to this and that’s what I love to show people as as the leader, I have to go first and that, though, because you can you can imagine, like.

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Brian Covey: hey guys, you need to go and social you to post these videos you share with people what you believe, like yeah but you don’t do it.

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Mike Malatesta: yeah but it’s a good idea for you right.

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Brian Covey: yeah.

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Mike Malatesta: yeah yeah so one other tangent you mentioned selfless selfish.

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Mike Malatesta: And that’s another buzzword with me, because the subtitle of my book, actually, is how getting selfish got me on stock and.

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Mike Malatesta: As selfish as such a horrible word I everybody’s like costs, nobody wants to be called selfish, but I think sort of like with the visualization that we were talking about earlier.

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Mike Malatesta: As for leaders for to be a good leader, I think you have to get selfish first before you can be self less because, if your self less first, and I think this is my own experience, I feel like I was selfless for a long time, and it it.

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Mike Malatesta: kind of it kind of allowed myself to put everybody else, first, before I knew where I wanted to take everyone, and so you know you’re kind of its I felt like I kind of use it as an excuse not to do my job.

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Brian Covey: mm hmm.

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Mike Malatesta: Right, how do you feel about that.

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Brian Covey: yeah I think oftentimes i’ve been kind of a victim mentality to that, where I would let myself believe that I was being selfish because it was an excuse to not do something that I know I needed to do, I was afraid to do it’s hard work.

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Brian Covey: It would put me outside of my normal comfort zone, and it was like man to have to do that, like you know that’s just being selfish i’m gonna go do this over here.

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Brian Covey: Right it look like look let’s let’s call it what it is guys, I am not talking about being selfish and like leaving and you know not taking care of your spouse or your family always that’s not at all what i’m saying.

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Brian Covey: What I am talking about is like practical things like, for example, taking care of my health each day as part of my day versus just scheduling another meeting to feel like i’m scheduling another meeting.

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Brian Covey: And what I have found is the people that typically have burnout or the leaders that you have seen and they’re successful but three years, five years 10 years later they’re not successful anymore, why is that.

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Brian Covey: Right, it did not take care of themselves and invest in their own personal development intentionally.

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Brian Covey: And so that’s got to be very intentional and you’ve got to have your values and clarity around what your priorities are.

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Brian Covey: And you have to back those up so if you look at it from that side of it and go, these are my priorities it’s for me like faith family fitness and finance like.

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Brian Covey: Okay, what am I doing in my faith today what am I doing for my family today what am I doing to my fitness today and the reality is, we all have excuses and the best one right it’s like I don’t have enough time yeah bs.

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Brian Covey: We all have time it’s what you make time for and how you do things and I shared this with a friend of mine, the other day was struggling working out i’ll just share that because that’s probably one we all try to figure out like struggle at some level.

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Mike Malatesta: sure.

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Brian Covey: And I shared with them a 15 minute workout that absolutely destroyed me.

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Brian Covey: And I said look I didn’t have much time and I had excuses going in my head like I don’t have 30 minutes I don’t have an hour.

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Brian Covey: I kind of set it up, I gotta do this I gotta do that and I just flipped a switch and said, you know what here’s what i’m going to do, and just start doing it start walking get on the bike get on the roller.

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Brian Covey: Go do something to 15 minutes or less is better than nothing in to oftentimes we allow ourselves to say, well, if the situation isn’t perfect if the conditions aren’t just right i’m not going to do it.

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Brian Covey: i’ll call that client back when I feel like it or you know oh it’s too late in the day I won’t call them right like there’s all these excuses and we we got a hard enough like we gotta go do hard things and and take the step and go do it.

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Brian Covey: And a good friend of mine shared this.

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Brian Covey: You can’t pour into others if your cup doesn’t have something in it right, so you can’t pull from an empty Cup.

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Brian Covey: You have nothing to give.

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Brian Covey: right if you don’t put things in reading like for me like spiritual side, listening to people that are motivation on podcasts and putting some of that in.

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Brian Covey: that’s going to come out and conversations it’s going to help shape, who I am it’s going to help with my decisions and my choices like we talked about it’s going to help me every day.

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Brian Covey: move a little faster make better choices and decisions with things it’s gonna, allow me to connect with great people and there’s something about it right like even take the podcast we do.

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Brian Covey: Yes, some people like oh man that’s really selfish you’re taking time away from the business or this that or the other, I go.

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Brian Covey: Well, if you want to look at Roi if you’re one of those folks like I can I can show you the Roi because I know how to back into that and it is hard to quantify on some levels, but on many levels if you don’t invest in yourself it’s a dead end road.

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Mike Malatesta: It just is for sure yeah that yeah like the selfish thing you know if you’re not if you.

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Mike Malatesta: You gotta to me being selfish and and been not in a bad way you explained it better than I.

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Mike Malatesta: than I did in my book, I think you explained it better, thank you for that, but that keeps your cup full and then you can then you have a lot to share with people and if you’re coming you’re few cups empty you’re you’re not doing anybody any favors yourself nor anybody around you.

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Brian Covey: that’s right now.

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Mike Malatesta: This has been so much fun getting to know you Brian Thank you so much for being on the podcast today and telling us about you know intentionality and visualization and just do it do the hard work, all that stuff is.

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Mike Malatesta: Well, works, it just works and be visible be visible, because people most visible people get found and the people who get found.

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Mike Malatesta: You know, are trusted and you do business with them, so this has been so much fun Thank you so much, Brian co ve COM is the website where you can find out all about Brian is there some other way you want people to connect with you.

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Brian Covey: That is the best way i’m pretty active on linkedin and instagram, but you can find everything just on the website there Brian Kobe calm we’ve got podcasts the book.

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Brian Covey: some really good resources to tap into i’d encourage you, if this has spoken to you and you enjoyed any of it, you want to hear more of that definitely connect up with me, let me know where you’re at what some of your takeaways were and how I can support your journey i’d love to do that.

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Mike Malatesta: Thanks so much.

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Brian Covey: awesome thanks Mike.

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Brian Covey: To.

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Mike Malatesta: On on.

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Brian Covey: 321 hey what’s happening guys just finished an incredible episode with Mike on how to go podcast and I will tell you guys.

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Brian Covey: We shared some things on how you can win at life and some of my life experiences where.

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Brian Covey: Look, I tell people all the time i’ve been empowered by failure so many times that we’ve all had setbacks, how do you actually turn those into successes in your own life so we share some of that and some stories that will make you laugh.

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Brian Covey: Hopefully won’t make you cry but will help you win at the game alive so definitely check out more at my website www dot Brian kilby COM, I hope you enjoy the episode.