Clifford Starks is a transformational coach, a personal trainer, and a former professional mixed martial arts fighter. After graduating in Kinesiology in 2005 and becoming a personal trainer, Clifford wanted to become a professional fighter. And that’s what he did. He holds the record of being the fastest amateur fighter to ever make it to the UFC in just 10 months, where he had a successful career as a Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) fighter with a total of 19 matches and 14 wins.
Becoming a professional fighter taught Clifford Starks many lessons that go beyond the body. He learned how to control his mind and channel his spirit to gain a competitive edge and achieve maximum performance. That’s why, at the end of his career as a professional fighter, Clifford Starks felt called to help others maximize their potential. He founded Starks Enterprises LLC where he’s helping entrepreneurs be better leaders by implementing The Power of 6 system, a program that Clifford developed during his years in the UFC.
The Power of 6
The Power of 6 is a system that Clifford Starks designed to help entrepreneurs take control of their life and lead more effectively, and it was conceived starting from Clifford’s “Fighter Paradigm”, where he teaches others how to approach life as if they were stepping into the ring.
The Power of 6 is comprised of the following pillars that will help you achieve a state of Peak Performance:
- Having Clarity, Think Big, Feel Big: The bigger your goal is, the bigger results you’ll get even if you don’t achieve your goal.
- Effective Plan: By identifying where you currently are, where you want to be, and what are the steps you need to take to fill that gap.
- Passionate Action: Taking actions consistently is key to achieving anything in life, and it becomes easier once you’re clear on what you want to achieve, why, and how.
- Unshakeable Faith: You need to believe that everything can be figured out. Every failure brings you a step closer to success.
- Take Responsibility: You are responsible for your condition, and that puts the power in your hands.
- Unleash the Greatness Within: By taking daily action and with the guide coaches and mentors.
And now here’s Clifford Starks.
[2:29] How’d it happen for Clifford Starks?
[5:40] What Clifford remembers about his dad and seeing his grandfather in a coffin
[10:48] Clifford’s life as a teenager
[14:17] On his athletic journey
[17:45] The Power of 6 Leadership Development System
[20:20] On public speaking
[26:05] How it should be in sports
[32:04] Internal – external – internal
[33:02] Mindset: born with or developed
[36:09] The masks that people wear
[40:50 ] What is perfect practice?
[42:20] Dealing with people who have “war in their head”
[46:48] The courage game
[55:39] Clifford’s family dynamic
[57:57] Clifford’s victory in his transformational coaching
[1:00:35] Where to find Clifford
Full transcript below
Video on Who’s the Person in Your Mirror
Inspiring Video from Clifford Starks About How Self Discipline Will Change Your Life
Watch Clifford Starks MMA Fight
Visit CliffordStarks.com to Learn More About Clifford
Get Clifford Stark’s Free Case Study
Connect with Clifford Starks on LinkedIn
Follow Clifford Starks on Instagram
Get Motivation, Inspiration, and Ideas to Level Up Your Life.
Subscribe to the How’d It Happen Podcast
Want to be the first to know when new episodes are released? Click here to subscribe
Subscribe to My Newsletter
Write a Podcast Review
Also, podcast reviews are important to iTunes and the more reviews we receive, the more likely we’ll be able to get this podcast and message in front of more people (something about iTunes algorithms?). I’d be extremely grateful if you took less than 30 seconds and 5 clicks to rate the podcast and leave a quick review. Here’s how to do it in less than 30 seconds:
Click on This Link – https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/howd-it-happen-podcast/id1441722417
Click on the “Listen on Apple Podcast” Box
Click on “Open iTunes” – You will go directly to the iTunes page for the Podcast
Click on “Ratings and Reviews”
Click on the 5thStar (or whatever one makes the most sense to you 🙂
Podcast with Clifford Starks. Who’s the Person in Your Mirror?
people, clifford, cliff, question, wrestler, psychology, mind, coach, dad, boxing, person, wondering, thought, grandfather, guess, sharing, describe, mindset, limiting belief, talk
00:00:18.570 –> 00:00:25.620
Mike Malatesta: hey everybody, welcome back to the show. I’m so glad to have you here today as I am with every episode and.
00:00:26.280 –> 00:00:40.050
Mike Malatesta: I’m fulfilling my promise to you to bring you amazing success stories today with another guest — I’ve got Clifford Starks on the show with me. Clifford, I’m going to call you Cliff because it’s just easier for me to say, and you said it was okay so Cliff.
00:00:40.080 –> 00:00:40.950
Mike Malatesta: Welcome to the show.
00:00:41.910 –> 00:00:43.830
Clifford Starks: hey, thank you for having me, I appreciate it Mike.
00:00:44.340 –> 00:00:47.190
Mike Malatesta: So let me tell you a little bit about Cliff and.
00:00:48.240 –> 00:00:55.020
Mike Malatesta: And why he’s here you’ll you’ll understand why he’s here when I tell you that so so Clifford is a cloud you Clifford.
00:00:56.430 –> 00:01:10.320
Mike Malatesta: Is a transformational coach a personal trainer and a former professional mixed martial arts fighter he just retired recently from that, after a long career and and a very successful career as well, congratulations on that.
00:01:10.680 –> 00:01:11.070
Clifford Starks: Thank you.
00:01:11.520 –> 00:01:20.460
Mike Malatesta: he’s used to competing against some of the fiercest competitors on the planet, I watched a video today folks, and that is true, it is fierce.
00:01:21.570 –> 00:01:32.550
Mike Malatesta: And he’s realized that it’s always about more than just transforming the body, the mind and spirit play key factors in everyone’s success Cliff coaches C level.
00:01:32.550 –> 00:01:38.850
Mike Malatesta: executives and entrepreneurs who need clarity and applied knowledge to achieve their biggest goals.
00:01:39.630 –> 00:01:47.490
Mike Malatesta: His power of six leadership development program helps his clients achieve optimal performance on command I love that on command Cliff.
00:01:48.090 –> 00:02:04.830
Mike Malatesta: He believes, as I do that to grow as a person, and a leader it’s as simple as making the decision to never stop and so with that Cliff let’s get going, I start every show, with the same question, and that is how did happen for you.
00:02:05.580 –> 00:02:11.310
Clifford Starks: yeah so I learned to be a fighter very early on my journey.
00:02:12.840 –> 00:02:24.420
Clifford Starks: The fights never over you know you’re always learning your fight, and when I was four my my biological dad drove away, and I remember him driving away.
00:02:25.320 –> 00:02:42.300
Clifford Starks: And I remember that feeling that I had from him driving away, you know, knowing that the people are supposed to be there for you can just leave, and so you have to figure things out on your own and go through your process on your own, or at least in that particular area.
00:02:43.830 –> 00:02:54.330
Clifford Starks: There then, when I was five my grandfather there was something wrong with them and I didn’t know what it was exactly I remember them taking me to the hospital my parents.
00:02:56.070 –> 00:03:08.100
Clifford Starks: And I say my parents, because my mom remarried but i’ll get into that in a second but I’m in the hospital, I remember my uncle carrying me out of the hospital.
00:03:08.640 –> 00:03:29.460
Clifford Starks: Right and I didn’t know what was going on exactly and so fast forward I see my my grandfather in a coffin and it just scared the crap out of me like I was so afraid of that moment, knowing like one day I’m gonna die, you know it just it really shook me.
00:03:30.780 –> 00:03:39.270
Clifford Starks: And then, when I was six, that is, when my mom actually married the men that I called that to this day, you know he’s a man of.
00:03:40.050 –> 00:04:00.480
Clifford Starks: Solid solid character, integrity and solid solid values, and he has he has helped me so far on my journey help me understand more of me and honestly I think I helped him understand more of him to because the process isn’t just a one way street, as I, as I continue to learn.
00:04:01.590 –> 00:04:11.550
Clifford Starks: But so from four or five and six it was there’s going to be people in your life, who are supposed to be there and they’re going to leave it’s just part of the journey.
00:04:12.300 –> 00:04:21.540
Clifford Starks: A life’s a fight it’s scary and you’re going to have scary moments, and you get to see like how you’re going to show up to those moments.
00:04:22.020 –> 00:04:32.640
Clifford Starks: And you can either get busy living as much life as possible, or you can die in early death and just be afraid and scared and terrified and play a small game.
00:04:33.270 –> 00:04:42.750
Clifford Starks: All that’s what my grandfather taught me and add six it was just because people who are supposed to quote unquote supposed to be there can leave.
00:04:43.440 –> 00:04:51.810
Clifford Starks: People who don’t have to be there can stay, you know they can stay and they can show up for you, and some of the highest most profound ways.
00:04:52.590 –> 00:05:12.480
Clifford Starks: And so I’ve taken taken my journey and said I’m going to experience as much as I can I’m going to squeeze as much as I can, out of life and learn as many lessons along the way, as I possibly can, and I’m just gonna fight my way into whatever successes, there may be on the journey.
00:05:13.650 –> 00:05:29.700
Mike Malatesta: And when you when your dad your biological dad left Do you remember, was there did he talk to you before he left or where is just sort of this thing out of the blue, and I know memories can be fuzzy when you’re four but.
00:05:30.930 –> 00:05:33.450
Clifford Starks: So, to be completely honest.
00:05:36.240 –> 00:05:44.100
Clifford Starks: When we’re when I when I was this young I only remember to specific scenarios, with him, and both not so good.
00:05:45.480 –> 00:05:53.820
Clifford Starks: So I remember him driving away because, in my head I kind of knew he wasn’t going to come back I don’t even remember having any kind of discussion.
00:05:54.300 –> 00:06:01.560
Clifford Starks: of him saying he was going to do it, I just remember the drive away, and I also remember, there was this ghost buster right, I wanted to get on.
00:06:02.250 –> 00:06:12.660
Clifford Starks: And I was so afraid because of the ghosts that would be in the ghost buster right um I asked him if he would get on the ride with me.
00:06:13.110 –> 00:06:24.540
Clifford Starks: And he didn’t get on the ride with me, and so I was just kind of like those were the two scenarios that I specifically remember from that stage of my life at that age.
00:06:25.470 –> 00:06:25.980
Mike Malatesta: And the.
00:06:28.500 –> 00:06:33.060
Mike Malatesta: scene with your grandfather, which is very poignant the way you told that I was.
00:06:35.100 –> 00:06:48.690
Mike Malatesta: Thinking to myself over the last five, and I saw like a coffin I wouldn’t be sure what it meant I wouldn’t be 100% sure, or when you said it scared they really scared you when you saw that so I had you I guess.
00:06:50.370 –> 00:06:57.780
Mike Malatesta: How did you I know I’m asking a question when you’re five years old it’s a very tough question to ask, but I’m just wondering how you think about how you put that together.
00:06:58.770 –> 00:07:04.890
Clifford Starks: yeah so I was absolutely terrified to the point.
00:07:06.930 –> 00:07:17.760
Clifford Starks: You know, they say fighter flight sure, and I I just went into freeze I was frozen from the whole experience and I felt.
00:07:18.990 –> 00:07:32.730
Clifford Starks: Very stuck knowing that reality, knowing like my existence doesn’t go on forever like I’m going to die, and so I didn’t know it was something I was doing at the time I.
00:07:33.480 –> 00:07:51.060
Clifford Starks: Really coached myself through that process and said all right if I’m gonna die I’m I better live, you know I got to go through like if I know this new reality I better do the things that I can do, while I am here.
00:07:54.060 –> 00:07:57.690
Mike Malatesta: And was that was your grandfather your father’s father or your mother’s father.
00:07:58.410 –> 00:08:00.330
Clifford Starks: My mother’s father, mother brother okay.
00:08:00.990 –> 00:08:01.860
So it’s six.
00:08:03.270 –> 00:08:15.330
Mike Malatesta: Your your dad your your new data at the time and your President that comes into your life and hot, and it has this amazing impact on you.
00:08:17.040 –> 00:08:18.000
Mike Malatesta: That had to be.
00:08:19.170 –> 00:08:28.830
Mike Malatesta: I think that I would think that it would have to be very surprising because it’s got to be scary to have I’ve haven’t had that happen in my life, so I don’t know, but I think it’s got to be scary to.
00:08:29.370 –> 00:08:42.360
Mike Malatesta: have someone new come in and particularly after someone you don’t have your your real dad it’s kind of fresh in your mind that you know he drove away and just left you and your mom and maybe other siblings that you have I don’t know.
00:08:43.530 –> 00:08:49.230
Clifford Starks: I just me at the time, but I do have some siblings from from those two my my.
00:08:50.670 –> 00:09:02.550
Clifford Starks: I guess the best thing I could call this my real dad I don’t mean any disrespect to my biological but a dad is more than just a title to me um but I will say.
00:09:04.140 –> 00:09:09.750
Clifford Starks: It was very weird and I did have trust issues.
00:09:10.800 –> 00:09:22.980
Clifford Starks: And I was just I didn’t want to call him dad I didn’t and I didn’t for a while and I was never a mean cruel person, but I know what I wanted and I knew what I didn’t want.
00:09:24.330 –> 00:09:37.290
Clifford Starks: And I knew that Okay, if people can just leave you might as well get bit get get busy getting very, very strong and also focus directly.
00:09:37.980 –> 00:09:48.450
Clifford Starks: On doing the best that you can for you taking things internally, because externally, the world doesn’t show up, at least at that time that’s where my thought process was.
00:09:49.110 –> 00:09:58.200
Mike Malatesta: And, did you think so yeah so I was thinking as you were telling Okay, so a new person comes into my life, and I know people can leave so I’m going to test it.
00:09:59.070 –> 00:10:07.140
Mike Malatesta: I’m gonna I’m going to push some buttons here and see if this person who’s really committed to me and my family or or it’s going to be another one of those.
00:10:09.120 –> 00:10:14.040
Mike Malatesta: You know, things situations that turns out like the people who are supposed to be there.
00:10:15.180 –> 00:10:18.300
Mike Malatesta: yeah don’t have to be where it’s you discover.
00:10:18.810 –> 00:10:19.230
00:10:20.880 –> 00:10:21.450
Mike Malatesta: So what.
00:10:22.470 –> 00:10:29.580
Mike Malatesta: Where do you go from there, I mean so you’re six you’ve got you know your your grandfather’s gone your dad is gone left.
00:10:30.630 –> 00:10:34.800
Mike Malatesta: You have a new person in your life who’s becomes dad which is phenomenal and then.
00:10:36.180 –> 00:10:36.840
Mike Malatesta: Where do you go.
00:10:38.130 –> 00:10:41.550
Clifford Starks: So it’s interesting this happened when I was a teenager.
00:10:43.200 –> 00:10:43.950
Clifford Starks: Actually.
00:10:45.270 –> 00:11:00.660
Clifford Starks: I was looking in the mirror and we were at a hotel, for this is why even happened but I’m looking in the mirror and you know where there’s a mirror in the front of you and there’s a mirror in the back of you yeah so I could see my love handles.
00:11:01.230 –> 00:11:02.610
Clifford Starks: On the back okay.
00:11:02.640 –> 00:11:05.610
Clifford Starks: And it just I got a real clear look at myself.
00:11:07.020 –> 00:11:24.330
Clifford Starks: I’m just sitting there staring like oh my God, I am fat like that was what went through my head and I’m not trying to fat shame or hate on anybody that’s what went through my head for me I didn’t like what I saw and from there, I was like now that I see this, I need to change it.
00:11:25.500 –> 00:11:33.060
Clifford Starks: So that was my My big journey on the the weight loss journey focusing on getting my weight right and in place.
00:11:34.230 –> 00:11:36.480
Mike Malatesta: Okay, and that was a That was something that you.
00:11:37.650 –> 00:11:48.150
Mike Malatesta: sort of dawned on you, as a result of seeing that it wasn’t something that it was probably something you were thinking about right before, and then you look and you say cuz like me I got a hat on here.
00:11:48.420 –> 00:11:55.170
Mike Malatesta: yeah you got kind of a haircut like I do you know it’s I say it’s a short haircut but, really, the fact is there’s not that much hair.
00:11:58.110 –> 00:12:09.870
Mike Malatesta: And it’s funny because, when I look in the mirror it, I feel, and I feel that it feels like I have hair, but then, if I see something from behind or a photo it’s like dude you don’t have any hair so.
00:12:10.620 –> 00:12:15.030
Mike Malatesta: I was it kind of like that, where you were sort of like oh yeah maybe I’m just you know big bow.
00:12:15.450 –> 00:12:28.530
Clifford Starks: So it was funny like I didn’t take a lot of pictures okay so deep down inside, you know yeah well you just don’t look like he’s just like Okay, if I don’t look it’ll be okay.
00:12:29.370 –> 00:12:30.480
Clifford Starks: Look, in that direction.
00:12:31.560 –> 00:12:34.590
Clifford Starks: So when I actually looked at myself and I’m like whoa.
00:12:35.820 –> 00:12:38.040
Clifford Starks: Now I see it, so I gotta do.
00:12:38.040 –> 00:12:38.850
Clifford Starks: something about it.
00:12:43.530 –> 00:12:44.460
Clifford Starks: that’s where.
00:12:46.080 –> 00:12:57.690
Clifford Starks: I always knew, but I never really addressed it yeah there’s there’s like if I just keep looking away I don’t look at my stomach I don’t look at pictures I got this.
00:12:58.920 –> 00:12:59.250
Mike Malatesta: yeah.
00:12:59.280 –> 00:13:00.240
Clifford Starks: So that’s what happened.
00:13:00.690 –> 00:13:04.800
Mike Malatesta: Okay, and how did you how did you begin to address it, what was that journey like.
00:13:05.910 –> 00:13:13.050
Clifford Starks: Oh, I was done, you know right when I saw it, it was like F this I’m not going to look like this and I’m going to change it.
00:13:14.340 –> 00:13:22.020
Clifford Starks: And i’ll tell you, you know it always starts off way easier in the beginning, then when you’re in the middle of it.
00:13:23.220 –> 00:13:31.860
Clifford Starks: But the cool thing is when you when you get to the end and you actually get the result, the middle doesn’t even seem that bad anymore, which is pretty Nice.
00:13:32.730 –> 00:13:36.180
Mike Malatesta: Okay, in other words the middle is where all the work actually.
00:13:36.510 –> 00:13:38.550
Clifford Starks: yeah that’s that’s where the learning happens.
00:13:39.690 –> 00:13:40.020
Clifford Starks: Okay.
00:13:42.420 –> 00:13:48.240
Mike Malatesta: cool and how much so, so you slim down you bulk up whatever you did, maybe a combination of things and.
00:13:48.660 –> 00:13:54.630
Mike Malatesta: What was your life like you know I guess athletically and stuff prior to this.
00:13:55.800 –> 00:13:57.150
Mike Malatesta: Epiphany or.
00:13:58.980 –> 00:14:00.480
Mike Malatesta: mirror awakening I guess.
00:14:00.840 –> 00:14:03.390
Mike Malatesta: yeah and and and where did it go from there.
00:14:04.200 –> 00:14:15.120
Clifford Starks: I didn’t have an athletic life before then yeah I actually I lost the weight first and I got interested in athletics, because of the way I felt when I would actually train.
00:14:18.390 –> 00:14:21.000
Mike Malatesta: And like what was your training, like me, what were you.
00:14:21.630 –> 00:14:33.780
Clifford Starks: So I was doing push ups and sit ups and changed my eating like That was all I did I focused on doing push ups sit ups oh wait no, I know, there was a lot of jogging to.
00:14:33.840 –> 00:14:47.910
Clifford Starks: So I was jogging push ups sit ups and cleaning my eating up, I will tell you they’re very good at marketing to us about how healthy everything is, but then, when you start reading the ingredients.
00:14:48.270 –> 00:14:49.770
Clifford Starks: And you realize real quick.
00:14:50.610 –> 00:14:53.340
Clifford Starks: yeah they they’re great with the marketing that’s for sure.
00:14:53.550 –> 00:14:54.060
00:14:55.200 –> 00:14:56.700
Mike Malatesta: I’ve got a lot of.
00:14:58.170 –> 00:15:02.970
Mike Malatesta: A lot of maybe as much sugar out of my bag as as I.
00:15:04.110 –> 00:15:17.250
Mike Malatesta: As I can, and it is amazing, when you turn that box or whatever around and you look at it and you see it things that are you know it says healthy on the front of the box in a.
00:15:18.090 –> 00:15:31.440
Mike Malatesta: box it’s either you can’t read the ingredients or sugar or cane sugar or whatever is the first ingredient so it’s yeah so I get your point there, so when did you become so you started as well.
00:15:32.610 –> 00:15:41.190
Mike Malatesta: i’ll let you tell it, but I know you got became a wrestler and you became quite you you became a very diverse athlete.
00:15:41.670 –> 00:15:42.870
Clifford Starks: yeah yeah so.
00:15:43.860 –> 00:15:57.570
Clifford Starks: yeah I got into a lot of athletics, and a cool enough, I actually got inducted into the hall of fame of my high school, but I got into wrestling and the track and field and the football and I went through.
00:15:58.770 –> 00:16:06.600
Clifford Starks: it’s interesting they talk about going through the process, you know getting through the process.
00:16:07.170 –> 00:16:12.780
Clifford Starks: And I tell people, the first process is always the hardest process, the first one you go through is the hardest.
00:16:13.230 –> 00:16:24.060
Clifford Starks: But after you go through one you can go through many so you just have to focus on the one, and then you get an idea of how to how to conduct this process, how to move in the direction that you want to move into.
00:16:24.810 –> 00:16:34.110
Clifford Starks: And I feel my weight loss journey really helped with my athletic journey and my educational journey, to be honest, because the process is always the same.
00:16:34.590 –> 00:16:39.840
Clifford Starks: it’s all about putting in the REPS and putting in the REPS in the right areas to get the thing that you want.
00:16:40.560 –> 00:16:56.970
Clifford Starks: And so I loved winning like winning was really, really fun I’m super competitive, and I would like to say I’m competitive in a healthy way you know I enjoy the process I enjoy the journey and I enjoy the person I become when I compete because.
00:16:58.440 –> 00:17:05.190
Clifford Starks: it’s good to compete and be on top when you’re winning but it’s also good to compete and be in top when you’re losing.
00:17:06.180 –> 00:17:17.670
Clifford Starks: it’s very important to know like when loser draw you have to know you put in your best effort and that you continue to learn through the process so that you can get better and stretch into something even more.
00:17:18.690 –> 00:17:27.540
Mike Malatesta: So let me ask you a little bit more about the process, you said, the first process is the hardest and I wonder if you could tell us tell me a little bit more about what you mean by that.
00:17:27.990 –> 00:17:37.200
Clifford Starks: yeah so I actually take people through it’s called the power of six and it’s the six principles that have shown up for me consistently.
00:17:37.710 –> 00:17:57.630
Clifford Starks: And it shows up for everyone, that I coach now I didn’t know, I was doing that going forward, I really understood it going backwards on the reason I understood it going backwards was, I had a speaking coach I’m going to fast forward a little bit so bear with me everyone.
00:17:58.170 –> 00:18:17.550
Clifford Starks: um yeah so I was, I had a speaking coach and this was after my fighting career, this was after on that process and the speaking coach wanted me to share my story and and share what steps people could take and actions people could take to move forward in their journey.
00:18:18.750 –> 00:18:25.200
Clifford Starks: And my first speech was a bomb like it was terrible just like it was all over the place.
00:18:26.220 –> 00:18:38.880
Clifford Starks: I wanted people to feel good I wanted people to know the greatness and, within them and I didn’t it just wasn’t clicking in the way that it needed to click like the audience didn’t know where to go, because I was kind of taken them all over the place.
00:18:39.090 –> 00:18:41.400
Mike Malatesta: And how old were you when when you what your.
00:18:41.520 –> 00:18:45.540
Clifford Starks: um I was 37 yeah I was 37 when I did.
00:18:45.750 –> 00:18:46.950
Mike Malatesta: You went much forward okay.
00:18:47.040 –> 00:19:00.930
Clifford Starks: Oh yeah oh yeah big time yeah So when I sat down um because, again, the competitor and me always wants to do the best sometimes you just have to take some sort of action to see where you’re at.
00:19:01.530 –> 00:19:10.320
Clifford Starks: And so I took that action I spoke on the stage and I go Okay, let me reverse engineer this, let me go what’s the final result, a person gets.
00:19:10.710 –> 00:19:27.540
Clifford Starks: And what steps do I take them through to get that result, and so I started writing down my whole process and I put it together I’m like that’s it that’s what they go through to get to to get to their promised land to get to their great version of them.
00:19:29.580 –> 00:19:31.380
Mike Malatesta: Okay, so the so.
00:19:33.300 –> 00:19:35.760
Mike Malatesta: figuring out how to give a good talk.
00:19:37.680 –> 00:19:40.710
Mike Malatesta: Really backed you into this power of six is what you’re saying.
00:19:41.100 –> 00:19:45.150
Clifford Starks: yeah is that right mm hmm okay and.
00:19:45.990 –> 00:19:50.100
Mike Malatesta: So when you let me I I’m always fascinated with speaking so I want.
00:19:50.460 –> 00:20:01.350
Mike Malatesta: A couple questions about it when you first wanted to do it, you said you were you said you know, maybe it wasn’t the greatest but how did you feel you were you one of those people were like I’m.
00:20:01.710 –> 00:20:12.570
Mike Malatesta: You know scared of public speaking, or were you a person was like yeah I’m ready to do it, but then didn’t have you know your process built for it or or what were you like.
00:20:13.560 –> 00:20:14.640
Clifford Starks: I was ready to go.
00:20:14.790 –> 00:20:15.690
Clifford Starks: Like I was.
00:20:16.170 –> 00:20:19.620
Clifford Starks: nervous as heck because I was speaking in front of friends and family.
00:20:20.190 –> 00:20:28.830
Clifford Starks: And I actually have I’ve always had a little bit of a challenge of speaking in front of friends and family and even performing in front of front of friends and family.
00:20:29.610 –> 00:20:36.660
Clifford Starks: And it’s something that I’m overcoming because I’m realizing how important that is on my journey which is super interesting.
00:20:37.380 –> 00:20:40.890
Clifford Starks: But uh yeah I was nervous, but it was a good nervous.
00:20:41.430 –> 00:20:54.330
Clifford Starks: The same thing when you step inside of a cage for fight the same thing when you’re in an arena, the same thing when you’re doing something that you’re not used to doing the same thing as being a kid who’s looking to lose some weight you go through your process.
00:20:55.230 –> 00:21:09.030
Mike Malatesta: Okay, and when you serve in the weeds here about you know speech, but when you put us when you put a talk together, do you what’s that technique that you use to remember it do you use the rooms in the House, as you walk through it, or do you.
00:21:09.030 –> 00:21:14.640
Mike Malatesta: Use some other type of way to you know to guide you through it without your notes or whatever.
00:21:15.180 –> 00:21:23.580
Clifford Starks: yeah so the most important thing with the speech is knowing the audience you’re speaking to and knowing the result they want to get through the speech.
00:21:24.150 –> 00:21:38.280
Clifford Starks: So every audience is going to be a different audience so when you can really have an idea like what are their hopes, what are their dreams, what are their desires, what are they afraid of what don’t they want to take action on right what are they missing.
00:21:39.360 –> 00:21:40.320
Clifford Starks: yeah okay.
00:21:41.160 –> 00:21:45.150
Mike Malatesta: And then input and, as you describe that I thought to myself okay that’s sort of.
00:21:46.230 –> 00:21:46.530
00:21:47.610 –> 00:22:00.570
Mike Malatesta: The basis for you know how you talk about training people to write you, you get you know kind of start with the end in mind, and then figure out the message that’s needed in order for us to make the progress to the end.
00:22:01.380 –> 00:22:01.860
00:22:03.000 –> 00:22:07.470
Mike Malatesta: When you so you became a really good wrestler in in college.
00:22:10.050 –> 00:22:10.590
Mike Malatesta: I don’t.
00:22:11.790 –> 00:22:15.900
Mike Malatesta: And then you and so I’m wondering, the you took the path to.
00:22:17.160 –> 00:22:24.270
Mike Malatesta: i’ll just call it MMA because there’s so many different things out there, that I but UFC MMA but I wondered why.
00:22:25.350 –> 00:22:35.730
Mike Malatesta: Not professional wrestling or did you try professional wrestling as well as I think about wrestling it’s such a demanding sport and it’s so amazing.
00:22:36.120 –> 00:22:38.130
Mike Malatesta: yeah when you get done with it and it’s like.
00:22:38.340 –> 00:22:42.390
Mike Malatesta: Oh, what are my avenues for this exceptional skill set that I have right.
00:22:43.620 –> 00:22:49.410
Mike Malatesta: kind of like maybe there are more that I’m just not aware of, but what was what were you what was going on in your mind at the time.
00:22:49.800 –> 00:22:59.100
Clifford Starks: So the interesting thing with the wrestling process there really isn’t a professional wrestling I mean there is but that’s not.
00:22:59.550 –> 00:23:04.860
Clifford Starks: Real wrestling that’s more like televised yeah wrestling, but they do have Olympic wrestling.
00:23:05.430 –> 00:23:18.060
Clifford Starks: And that’s that’s like the best of the best super super high caliber This is all I’m doing type wrestling and so Olympics wasn’t something that really interests me personally.
00:23:18.780 –> 00:23:29.430
Clifford Starks: And I I kind of use wrestling as a as a springboard to finish what I really wanted to do, which was coach people as a personal trainer.
00:23:30.030 –> 00:23:39.210
Clifford Starks: So I actually got into personal training after graduating asu because that that was my focus at the time it wasn’t to be a high level wrestler.
00:23:39.960 –> 00:23:47.250
Clifford Starks: The wrestling just kind of it was something I liked doing I enjoyed it, but I wasn’t like I’m going all in on this wrestling thing.
00:23:47.850 –> 00:24:00.720
Clifford Starks: I was actually going to quit the team, but ironically enough the coach coach or tease ended up giving me a scholarship to stay on the team and so from there I’m like wow I can’t pass that.
00:24:04.200 –> 00:24:06.930
Mike Malatesta: yeah because you you ended up getting your degree in.
00:24:08.370 –> 00:24:09.600
Mike Malatesta: kinesiology is.
00:24:10.350 –> 00:24:13.170
Clifford Starks: Correct yeah and so, for people who.
00:24:13.170 –> 00:24:19.290
Mike Malatesta: don’t know what that means, because it’s a very fancy word, and I think a lot of people may not know exactly what it means, how do you describe it.
00:24:19.590 –> 00:24:26.130
Clifford Starks: yeah so it’s the study of movement, the science of the study of movement, I was it really interesting.
00:24:27.000 –> 00:24:33.030
Clifford Starks: Not only did it focus on like the biomechanics and the understanding of the body.
00:24:33.570 –> 00:24:48.270
Clifford Starks: But there was some psychology in there, too, and that’s something that really, really fascinated me on my journey, the way we think and how we think and the perspectives, we use can be absolutely game changers on the journey that we’re partaking on.
00:24:48.870 –> 00:24:54.030
Mike Malatesta: So let’s let let me, let me ask you one question that I want to get into the psychology if you don’t mind so.
00:24:54.150 –> 00:24:55.470
Mike Malatesta: When you talked about winning.
00:24:56.790 –> 00:25:00.030
Mike Malatesta: You know, wanting to win and wanting to be a good winner and a good.
00:25:01.140 –> 00:25:16.860
Mike Malatesta: loser, I guess, are good, when you when you don’t when I’m just curious of your opinion, since you’ve been you know at the you know, in your professional professional athlete and I in so much of professional athletics, it seems now is really.
00:25:18.570 –> 00:25:22.920
Mike Malatesta: Really really hardcore self promotional and it’s sort of taking the.
00:25:24.000 –> 00:25:27.180
Mike Malatesta: it’s sort of putting the other players down, you know, like you see.
00:25:28.410 –> 00:25:38.400
Mike Malatesta: Whether it’s in in fighting you know there’s always sort of a lot of trash talking and stuff and then in football or basketball there’s a lot of.
00:25:39.900 –> 00:25:54.270
Mike Malatesta: You know fist you know chest pounding and stuff, how do you feel what’s your approach and what do you think is, is there a right approach, and you know, there is there is it, how do you what’s your basic feeling about how things should be in sports.
00:25:55.680 –> 00:25:56.370
Clifford Starks: So.
00:25:58.830 –> 00:26:11.640
Clifford Starks: The approaches the approach you need to use to sleep at night so ultimately every action has some sort of reaction or consequence to it.
00:26:12.750 –> 00:26:21.060
Clifford Starks: And the question is okay, why are you doing the thing that you’re doing and what are you looking to obtain with the thing that you’re doing.
00:26:22.350 –> 00:26:42.360
Clifford Starks: there’s a variety of reasons to people’s wise and so they get to choose what they’re going to choose and hopefully the best of consciousness and faith, but if a person wants to act out and act wild that’s on them it’s it’s not my place to tell them to act any differently.
00:26:43.440 –> 00:26:45.180
Clifford Starks: The game that I play.
00:26:46.470 –> 00:26:48.810
Clifford Starks: Personally, is one of.
00:26:50.010 –> 00:26:57.990
Clifford Starks: doing my best to have honor and respect and there is a form of gate gamesmanship in the game as well you know, like.
00:26:58.530 –> 00:27:18.060
Clifford Starks: We are there not only to perform but to entertain because people watch what they they are entertained by just it’s a fact of life, and so we can we can Pal and say well they’re not as good or they don’t do this but eyeballs are part of the game it’s part of the name of the game.
00:27:19.650 –> 00:27:20.040
Clifford Starks: Okay.
00:27:20.100 –> 00:27:26.580
Mike Malatesta: So there has to be something more than the athleticism is what you’re saying, but you can.
00:27:27.390 –> 00:27:40.050
Mike Malatesta: You choose that you choose that with the with sort of the the matrix that it’s important for the fans and it’s important important for your status, I guess, but also, you have to sleep at night with with whomever you decide to be.
00:27:40.560 –> 00:27:44.010
Clifford Starks: yeah yeah absolutely alright so let’s.
00:27:44.250 –> 00:27:45.780
Mike Malatesta: let’s move on to psychology then.
00:27:48.690 –> 00:27:49.350
Mike Malatesta: You.
00:27:52.800 –> 00:28:05.250
Mike Malatesta: You know you’re coaching your first of all I love the transformational part of it, I really do enjoy people who described themselves as transformational agents are transformational coaches and.
00:28:06.780 –> 00:28:08.430
Mike Malatesta: One of my favorite books was.
00:28:09.810 –> 00:28:16.080
Mike Malatesta: David goggins book you can’t hurt me I think it’s what it was called have you read that book Are you familiar with him.
00:28:16.410 –> 00:28:17.490
Clifford Starks: yeah I’m familiar with him.
00:28:17.730 –> 00:28:24.030
Mike Malatesta: Okay, well, I just remember a I don’t I don’t remember everything out of the book, but I remember this sort of.
00:28:24.600 –> 00:28:33.330
Mike Malatesta: governor on your mind concept that he brought up and that you know, basically, in his opinion, you know we use about 40% of our.
00:28:33.840 –> 00:28:46.740
Mike Malatesta: actual capacity to achieve things and he just says, you know if you just imagine if you use the other 60% what you could accomplish that right now, you feel like or you talk yourself out of.
00:28:47.550 –> 00:29:04.380
Mike Malatesta: Not being able to do so, let so I so let’s get you know, first of all, high level, I guess, with you and how you feel about how important psychology is and how you use it in your for yourself and how you use it for your your clients and for anybody else that you interact with.
00:29:05.100 –> 00:29:05.490
00:29:06.570 –> 00:29:08.160
Clifford Starks: it’s an absolute game changer.
00:29:10.470 –> 00:29:15.660
Clifford Starks: Because everything starts with an a belief, you know, a belief in self.
00:29:16.920 –> 00:29:19.830
Clifford Starks: If we believe we can do something.
00:29:22.230 –> 00:29:25.470
Clifford Starks: The probability of that thing increases.
00:29:27.720 –> 00:29:37.260
Clifford Starks: And so, when I start with working with an individual, for instance, the power of sex I focus on clarity confidence and commitment.
00:29:38.550 –> 00:29:43.620
Clifford Starks: Because if they’re clear and what their objective is, and they can see their North star.
00:29:44.730 –> 00:29:49.890
Clifford Starks: It can help them become committed to that thing just the fact that they can see it, that means they can move towards it.
00:29:51.060 –> 00:29:52.620
Clifford Starks: And if they can move towards it.
00:29:53.790 –> 00:29:55.260
Clifford Starks: commitment is.
00:29:56.610 –> 00:30:01.440
Clifford Starks: It can start with a big commitments or it can start with inch by inch commitments.
00:30:02.520 –> 00:30:12.840
Clifford Starks: You know, like what how are you going to maintain commitment to the process, and if you say I’m going to sign my life away and I’m going to do this, no matter what that’s one way of doing it.
00:30:13.530 –> 00:30:31.620
Clifford Starks: But there’s also many commitments that you can do little commitments, one by one and use that momentum to keep you moving forward and that’s all the mind piece right there is just to say, are you going to look internally and understand.
00:30:32.670 –> 00:30:40.980
Clifford Starks: Your where you’re at because of you, which is a good thing, because that means you can get out of where you’re at because of you too yeah.
00:30:42.180 –> 00:30:51.810
Mike Malatesta: yeah I like to think of that as tell me if this resonates with you, I like to think about that, as you know, when you get yourself to a spot that you don’t like, for example, whatever it is.
00:30:53.070 –> 00:31:02.130
Mike Malatesta: And you think Why am I here, and you ask all these questions about that are outward you know they aren’t introspective their you know their outward and.
00:31:03.150 –> 00:31:18.270
Mike Malatesta: And when you, and no one answers those questions because there’s no answer for that no one’s you know you may be looking for someone to blame or or or whatever, but they’re not out there they’re not answering those questions, but when you look at yourself and you go, you know what.
00:31:20.280 –> 00:31:23.610
Mike Malatesta: The reality is, I designed a system that got me here.
00:31:24.330 –> 00:31:27.960
Mike Malatesta: mm hmm and, if I can I can accept that.
00:31:29.340 –> 00:31:36.510
Mike Malatesta: As a fact, then I can also accept the fact that I can design a system to get me somewhere else, where I you know some other place where I want to be.
00:31:37.350 –> 00:31:37.830
Clifford Starks: yeah.
00:31:37.890 –> 00:31:39.960
Mike Malatesta: Does that resonate with you is that, how you.
00:31:40.290 –> 00:31:49.620
Clifford Starks: Think about hundred percent yeah I look at, so I call it internal external internal where I’m going to look internally like okay.
00:31:50.220 –> 00:31:58.500
Clifford Starks: Who am I Why am I what am I feeling Why am I feeling what I’m feeling what are my conditioning and then I go external.
00:31:59.340 –> 00:32:10.500
Clifford Starks: What are the external components how what external components can I fix, what can I not fix what should I focus on what should I focus on what’s going to help me move forward.
00:32:11.370 –> 00:32:24.600
Clifford Starks: And then I go internally again Okay, now that I’ve processed everything what’s my next best action for the person that I am today to move into the direction and the person, I want to be tomorrow okay.
00:32:25.770 –> 00:32:27.660
Mike Malatesta: Okay yeah like that internal external.
00:32:28.680 –> 00:32:33.750
Mike Malatesta: And how, how do you let’s talk about mindset, a little bit and belief, because when you.
00:32:36.840 –> 00:32:48.510
Mike Malatesta: it’s hard enough sometimes to well, first of all let me ask you a question, do you believe that that mindset is something you’re born with or something that can be developed, whatever your particular mindset might be.
00:32:49.620 –> 00:32:50.760
Clifford Starks: Oh developed all day long.
00:32:52.230 –> 00:32:52.440
Clifford Starks: Okay.
00:32:53.460 –> 00:32:56.940
Mike Malatesta: So you would also agree that belief systems can be developed as well.
00:32:57.480 –> 00:32:58.260
00:32:59.670 –> 00:33:02.130
Mike Malatesta: And when the majority of the people that you.
00:33:03.600 –> 00:33:11.970
Mike Malatesta: end up working with do they come to you do, you find that they come to you with a limiting mindset or belief system or do you think they are.
00:33:13.170 –> 00:33:26.640
Mike Malatesta: yeah I mean, how did they arrive, and then what it, how do you assess where they are you I’m just curious how you put all the you know the mind body everything together when you when you start working with somebody because fascinates me.
00:33:27.390 –> 00:33:33.840
Clifford Starks: So we all come to any table with limits yeah other people just were there mask better than others.
00:33:35.850 –> 00:33:38.190
Clifford Starks: Because if a person really thinks like I have no limit.
00:33:39.300 –> 00:33:40.260
Clifford Starks: guessing themselves.
00:33:42.480 –> 00:33:51.630
Mike Malatesta: So the first, the first step, well, it may not be the first step in the process, but you have to be you have to be real with yourself and awake and aware and accepting.
00:33:52.200 –> 00:34:13.350
Clifford Starks: yeah yeah yeah I have a process where I call it self acceptance self awareness self transformation self acceptance, first because it’s important to just fully accept it, because if you don’t your ego is going to find a way to not let you see that.
00:34:14.460 –> 00:34:15.210
Clifford Starks: Every time.
00:34:16.890 –> 00:34:19.440
Mike Malatesta: Right like like not having the two mirrors.
00:34:19.740 –> 00:34:24.060
Clifford Starks: yeah yeah it’s good for you you’re good you’re fine.
00:34:27.900 –> 00:34:29.970
Mike Malatesta: You and how often do.
00:34:31.290 –> 00:34:44.460
Mike Malatesta: So here’s the thing like coming to see someone like you who’s you know accomplished so much and it’s easy to it’s easy to only see you as you are now or as you were as a, you know as a professional fighter.
00:34:45.480 –> 00:34:56.190
Mike Malatesta: And not see that the teenager and not see the kid that was you know for at that you described at four or five and six and people come to you, and they you know it’s kind of like meeting as.
00:34:57.360 –> 00:35:04.020
Mike Malatesta: As a celebrity that you say to yourself well how am I ever going to how am I ever going to sort of.
00:35:05.280 –> 00:35:10.470
Mike Malatesta: You know, live up to Cliffs expectations of me it’s kind of a little scary like look at the guy.
00:35:10.890 –> 00:35:11.370
Clifford Starks: yeah.
00:35:11.400 –> 00:35:12.210
Mike Malatesta: How do you.
00:35:13.230 –> 00:35:21.210
Mike Malatesta: Well, I mean you have I’m assuming that that happens, and how do you defuse, how do you make people comfortable and how do you make people feel like hey it’s not about measuring.
00:35:22.110 –> 00:35:29.070
Mike Malatesta: You know you against me or anybody else it’s about you measuring you against where you want to go and how you’re capable of getting there.
00:35:30.150 –> 00:35:30.810
Clifford Starks: listen to them.
00:35:31.920 –> 00:35:33.090
Clifford Starks: let’s just listen closely.
00:35:34.290 –> 00:35:38.280
Clifford Starks: ask questions when you can ask the right questions, you can have an idea of.
00:35:39.300 –> 00:35:44.310
Clifford Starks: Why, they are not being the celebrity in their own life, because the truth is, they really are.
00:35:47.100 –> 00:35:55.650
Mike Malatesta: And in terms of masks that people are wearing is there, like I’ve heard I’ve heard a bunch of different people talk about that I had a guy on my guy on my podcast.
00:35:57.090 –> 00:36:06.180
Mike Malatesta: Mike Brody what Mike Brody weight is his name and he actually wrote a book about masks and it was really cool to hear him talk about it talk about it because I didn’t I don’t.
00:36:06.960 –> 00:36:24.630
Mike Malatesta: I mean, I think I thought about it before, but I hadn’t really thought about it, like he was like he was you know, suggesting we do, and so I think I, so I asked you like, what is the mass that you’ve worn that wasn’t you and what did it take you if, if you have and what did it take you to.
00:36:25.890 –> 00:36:30.420
Mike Malatesta: You know realize or get the confidence or you know, whatever to take it off.
00:36:34.710 –> 00:36:39.120
Clifford Starks: So I think we’re always wearing some layer of mask and.
00:36:46.230 –> 00:36:53.850
Clifford Starks: To take it off, you have to first realize that you’re wearing it right, like some people may have one and and not even realize that they’re wearing it.
00:36:56.310 –> 00:37:10.470
Clifford Starks: um my My big thing would be transparency, the more transparent, I can become about things the more transparent, they become and then eventually both the mask come off.
00:37:11.880 –> 00:37:13.650
Clifford Starks: So that’s what I that’s what I really see.
00:37:14.580 –> 00:37:24.810
Mike Malatesta: And would you do you have a have you or do you have a tendency for being I’m going to call it, private not not lack of transparency, but sort of like a.
00:37:25.680 –> 00:37:32.730
Mike Malatesta: You know, sometimes you just don’t want to tell people stuff because you don’t think it’s important or you don’t think it’s their business or you know, whatever.
00:37:33.630 –> 00:37:34.050
Clifford Starks: yeah.
00:37:34.110 –> 00:37:35.340
Mike Malatesta: that the same or different.
00:37:35.970 –> 00:37:36.600
00:37:39.210 –> 00:37:44.160
Clifford Starks: So for me, I call it the dance of transparency, and this is why.
00:37:45.390 –> 00:37:48.300
Clifford Starks: there’s levels of reality, you should be going into.
00:37:49.680 –> 00:37:59.130
Clifford Starks: I will say I’m I’m a very courageous individual but courage comes with practice so anyone can become a very courageous individual.
00:37:59.790 –> 00:38:10.140
Clifford Starks: it’s just are they willing to practice it and how are they willing to practice it and who is the mentor the coach or solution or process that can help them practice it.
00:38:12.000 –> 00:38:30.300
Clifford Starks: And with the dance of transparency there’s also a respect to the dance and transparency, like if I started asking you really, really personal questions right and I just didn’t know you at that level to do it, and I said what I just want both of our master come off, which is really.
00:38:30.690 –> 00:38:33.270
Clifford Starks: My whoa what the heck.
00:38:33.600 –> 00:38:35.040
Mike Malatesta: you’re gonna have a wall.
00:38:35.130 –> 00:38:51.840
Clifford Starks: yeah yeah it’s just like what is this guy doing, but if you can, if you can understand the subtleties of the dance of transparency and respect the subtleties of that dance I’m both people’s mouths come off in a very magical way.
00:38:55.020 –> 00:39:00.150
Mike Malatesta: Can you describe how courage comes with practice that was a really interesting thing.
00:39:01.680 –> 00:39:02.130
Clifford Starks: yeah.
00:39:04.110 –> 00:39:09.210
Clifford Starks: The reality that we see right like we see through our our eyes.
00:39:10.170 –> 00:39:20.610
Clifford Starks: And it’s constantly, let us know, this is the reality, this is the reality this is reality when you touch something and it burns you it’s hot don’t do that when you do this don’t do that.
00:39:21.150 –> 00:39:32.850
Clifford Starks: When you do now imagine when you do do something, though, when you get a cup of water well you’re conditioned into believe that I can do this when you begin to walk you’re conditioned I can do this.
00:39:33.900 –> 00:39:45.570
Clifford Starks: And so the more things you do the more actions you take the more lessons you learn, and the more lessons you learn the more you learn how to do things.
00:39:48.660 –> 00:39:58.260
Clifford Starks: Some people want to avoid the failure, all together, but you are going to fail forward on your journey, it is part of the process, because you’re learning something new.
00:40:00.240 –> 00:40:00.660
00:40:01.890 –> 00:40:02.970
Mike Malatesta: So that is.
00:40:04.950 –> 00:40:15.810
Mike Malatesta: So as I’m listening to you I’m thinking okay so basically the courage, the practice that builds courage is really taking steps towards something.
00:40:16.530 –> 00:40:24.030
Mike Malatesta: New and what keeps a lot of people from taking steps towards something new is that they don’t think about it and steps they think about it as a leap.
00:40:24.870 –> 00:40:26.340
Clifford Starks: yeah and they don’t.
00:40:26.790 –> 00:40:32.100
Mike Malatesta: feel like they could ever make that leap, so they don’t take the first step.
00:40:32.700 –> 00:40:41.310
Clifford Starks: yeah or in there’s there’s also a tentative piece to add one coach who talks about having perfect practice.
00:40:42.060 –> 00:40:51.660
Clifford Starks: You know there’s a difference between practicing and perfect practice if you’re going to practice half ass you’re not going to get the result that you’re looking for it just not going to happen.
00:40:52.680 –> 00:41:06.090
Clifford Starks: But when you’re practicing with full and intentionality and you’re going after it, with everything that you got and you also have a system or process to help you move forward.
00:41:07.230 –> 00:41:10.020
Clifford Starks: Then you start becoming that thing.
00:41:11.310 –> 00:41:23.250
Clifford Starks: And the the really cool thing I didn’t realize how important support was until I really started really looking back at my journey but it’s one of the most powerful things we can have.
00:41:23.910 –> 00:41:29.940
Clifford Starks: Just a support system to say yeah you can do this, even when you were bringing up like.
00:41:30.750 –> 00:41:39.360
Clifford Starks: I could have some form of celebrity status, I just need to let them know that they’re the celebrity in their life we’re always the celebrity in our own life.
00:41:39.900 –> 00:41:49.230
Clifford Starks: We get to choose what we want and choose what we don’t we get to choose to take action and grow and learn, or we can choose to shrink and get small.
00:41:49.710 –> 00:42:00.210
Clifford Starks: Or we can maintain and I don’t really think there is a maintain I think either you’re going forward or you’re going backwards and you get to choose which direction you’re going to go in and while you’re going to go in that direction.
00:42:01.980 –> 00:42:02.220
00:42:03.300 –> 00:42:08.610
Mike Malatesta: Okay, and I’m, I am very on board with you, with that and but, but now I’m wondering.
00:42:09.630 –> 00:42:17.880
Mike Malatesta: How you deal with people that come into your world whether they want your help, or you run into them some other way, and they just you mentioned.
00:42:18.690 –> 00:42:27.060
Mike Malatesta: I think I read somewhere that you, you describe this some something called you call the war and in their head the war in your head I’m just wondering how you.
00:42:28.500 –> 00:42:30.000
Mike Malatesta: Some people, you know everybody’s got.
00:42:30.150 –> 00:42:32.040
Clifford Starks: Where they’ll give me one second.
00:42:32.850 –> 00:42:33.390
00:42:35.250 –> 00:42:35.940
Clifford Starks: Okay, thank you.
00:42:38.310 –> 00:42:38.700
Clifford Starks: alright.
00:42:40.410 –> 00:42:44.880
Mike Malatesta: that’s okay i’ll just start over with the question, so the the.
00:42:46.290 –> 00:42:54.210
Mike Malatesta: This limiting beliefs, I want to know how you deal with people who you know, are experiencing this thing you call the war and in your head.
00:42:55.080 –> 00:43:03.330
Mike Malatesta: Limiting beliefs when they come to see you and there because everybody has those from and they come from all sorts of sources, it could be your dad leaving you, it could be.
00:43:04.530 –> 00:43:07.440
Mike Malatesta: Who knows all kinds of stuff it.
00:43:08.970 –> 00:43:21.900
Mike Malatesta: How do you deal with somebody that you can’t break where you have a lot of difficulty breaking through that Cliff because I think that’s like you’re obviously able to break a lot of people through that and I think I’m interested in how you do it, how to you.
00:43:23.580 –> 00:43:31.020
Mike Malatesta: Because you have to run into that right, where people like know Cliff I can’t do it, you know and just they’re just talking themselves out of what you’re trying to talk themselves into.
00:43:32.040 –> 00:43:32.610
Clifford Starks: um.
00:43:33.960 –> 00:43:34.350
00:43:35.760 –> 00:43:40.680
Clifford Starks: it’s interesting so when you allow a person to speak.
00:43:41.880 –> 00:43:51.660
Clifford Starks: On whatever they’re speaking on their failures their successes their learning experiences their doubts their fears.
00:43:53.010 –> 00:43:55.710
Clifford Starks: And then you just place options in front of them.
00:43:57.030 –> 00:44:07.530
Clifford Starks: Because the truth is everything comes down to Okay, if I practice something enough in the right way i’ll become the thing that I’m looking to become.
00:44:09.030 –> 00:44:26.280
Clifford Starks: And it does start with them, knowing the options are available and so you’ll hear it, and people will give you so many signs, especially the longer you do it as a coach like you’re just going to hear sign after sign after sign after sign.
00:44:27.510 –> 00:44:34.830
Clifford Starks: and realize Oh well, that’s why they’re stuck in the place that they’re stuck and then it’s just like.
00:44:36.600 –> 00:44:50.820
Clifford Starks: My that mirror was my coach when I first started my weight loss journey that mirror was my coach It made me look at reality, and I said I don’t want that reality anymore.
00:44:51.750 –> 00:45:01.290
Clifford Starks: And so what a coach really does is a good job at placing a mirror in front of you and asking you hey Is this what you want, in your reality.
00:45:05.190 –> 00:45:18.600
Mike Malatesta: I like how you talked about that’s great, by the way, I like how you talked about the options, too, because that’s where the psychology comes in right someone’s got a limiting belief and they don’t want to do it, the way that sort of maybe you first suggest they they do it right.
00:45:18.660 –> 00:45:20.760
Mike Malatesta: And so, then it’s like okay.
00:45:22.950 –> 00:45:30.690
Mike Malatesta: But you want to have result right you want the end result that’s what you told me, yes, I do want the end result Okay, and you don’t want to do it this way, no I don’t think I can do it this way okay so.
00:45:31.290 –> 00:45:45.690
Mike Malatesta: Then, then it’s all about well how can I develop an option that I can offer them that they will ban say yes to, and we can start making the step it just they don’t may not even realize it right is that the subtlety I that’s seems like the psychology of it.
00:45:46.050 –> 00:45:55.560
Clifford Starks: yeah it’s really it’s kind of simple because its momentum, just like anything else, so when we learn how to use momentum effectively.
00:45:57.000 –> 00:46:06.540
Clifford Starks: We can’t be stopped now if we use it any effective way we can’t be stopped in the wrong direction really depends how we’re using this momentum.
00:46:07.170 –> 00:46:20.760
Clifford Starks: Right so, even if a person’s mood like I’ve seen people, basically, I call it running the car backwards, they have their car in reverse going as fast as it can the wrong direction.
00:46:21.270 –> 00:46:33.030
Clifford Starks: So, first we just got to get that to stop and not come to a screeching halt we don’t want to mess, the mind up and turn it into something that is not good for them in the long run.
00:46:33.510 –> 00:46:35.160
Clifford Starks: But we want to get it like.
00:46:35.520 –> 00:46:46.740
Clifford Starks: Okay, you can go a little bit slower, or it a little bit slower Okay, we can stop all right let’s check the car let’s check the engine let’s check the tires let’s make sure we didn’t mess anything up too bad.
00:46:47.130 –> 00:46:59.490
Clifford Starks: And now we can slowly start entering the other direction, and then eventually we’ll put will put our foot on the gas and will accelerate and will fly and will create the dream and the reality that we want to create.
00:46:59.910 –> 00:47:04.290
Mike Malatesta: Okay yeah so first before we can move forward let’s stop the behaviors that are.
00:47:05.700 –> 00:47:09.210
Mike Malatesta: moving us backward let’s acknowledge what they are let’s yeah okay.
00:47:09.570 –> 00:47:12.600
Mike Malatesta: yeah So let me ask about a personal.
00:47:14.460 –> 00:47:20.880
Mike Malatesta: You know, courage, takes practice story for us and I’m assuming this is going to be one and if it’s not you just tell me.
00:47:24.030 –> 00:47:31.080
Mike Malatesta: When you decided that you wanted to be become a fighter, you had been a wrestler as we talked about, and so you hadn’t.
00:47:33.540 –> 00:47:35.520
Mike Malatesta: done any boxing or you hadn’t done any.
00:47:36.750 –> 00:47:39.300
Mike Malatesta: You know, had had a lot of the skill sets that you need to be.
00:47:40.530 –> 00:47:53.070
Mike Malatesta: You know, an MMA fighter and and I think I also read where you, you said that your coach said, you know you had a goal and your coach said you can’t you’re not going to be able to achieve that that goal.
00:47:53.430 –> 00:47:55.140
Mike Malatesta: Probably for good reason, because.
00:47:55.170 –> 00:48:00.780
Mike Malatesta: Your coach probably knew all these other things that you would have to know to become competitive right to be.
00:48:00.930 –> 00:48:11.250
Mike Malatesta: Fierce competitor so I’m I guess I’m wondering how you because boxing is a key part of of just key skill set you, you have to know how to.
00:48:12.360 –> 00:48:14.190
Mike Malatesta: box in order to be good, I think.
00:48:14.580 –> 00:48:15.900
Clifford Starks: yeah and.
00:48:15.960 –> 00:48:22.920
Mike Malatesta: And boxing is not easy boxing is, and I know this from my own experience, because I’m a I’m been boxing for a couple of years now and it’s.
00:48:24.180 –> 00:48:39.420
Mike Malatesta: it’s it’s so on, like the movements and all seemed to me a lot not not like movements that I was used to making as an athlete, of course, that was a long time ago, but like football movements footwork and all that is just different and.
00:48:39.840 –> 00:48:48.330
Mike Malatesta: it’s it’s really hard to become a good Boxer even to have a good job, for example, to to set up other things and and here you are.
00:48:48.930 –> 00:48:59.910
Mike Malatesta: With I don’t think you had much experience that and then you needed it to perform you know, not just for working out like I do, but you know to to avoid being killed, you know.
00:49:01.890 –> 00:49:08.190
Mike Malatesta: So it was that it is, could you walk us through that you know courage journey on you know, on your part.
00:49:08.910 –> 00:49:13.860
Clifford Starks: yeah yeah so um first fight.
00:49:14.940 –> 00:49:19.650
Clifford Starks: You sign a contract right get a date in place.
00:49:20.670 –> 00:49:23.880
Clifford Starks: And you go to work, you know you do the thing that you need to do.
00:49:25.230 –> 00:49:40.470
Clifford Starks: Your in your training camp you’re enjoying your training camp, I actually use my second fight, because my first fight what was kind of a walk in the park, and that was only that was an experience thing on both ends of my second if I was a completely different fight so i’ll use that one.
00:49:40.770 –> 00:49:41.040
00:49:42.510 –> 00:49:48.960
Clifford Starks: So you sign your contract you’re going through your process you’re going through your journey you’re training yourself to be prepared for this fight.
00:49:50.370 –> 00:49:51.630
Clifford Starks: And then.
00:49:52.710 –> 00:49:57.690
Clifford Starks: By time comes the ref talks to you in the back in the back of the room.
00:49:59.010 –> 00:50:06.570
Clifford Starks: We start getting a little bit nervous, because you know it’s getting realer and realer than it was before, when you’re in training camp.
00:50:08.040 –> 00:50:15.780
Clifford Starks: You can move, you can get those jitters out, you can do what you’re you’re taking action so taking action actions actually very comfortable for us.
00:50:16.890 –> 00:50:34.950
Clifford Starks: For people to take some sort of action it’s actually one of the most comfortable things that we do it’s taking different action that is scary and so you don’t go to fight every day, not like the fight that you’re about to have and not trying to knock somebody out.
00:50:36.600 –> 00:50:39.060
Clifford Starks: So you feel it and you get nervous.
00:50:40.410 –> 00:50:50.790
Clifford Starks: And you know you got to calm yourself down because the fight is happening in your head and it’s probably not going great like you’re probably freaking yourself out pretty good.
00:50:52.170 –> 00:51:00.090
Clifford Starks: So you do whatever you can to maintain your composure mine personally was listening to music music really helped me in that process.
00:51:01.740 –> 00:51:10.110
Clifford Starks: So I listened to music I do a little bit of shadow boxing I move around, I speak with my coaches, we get the game plan ready to go.
00:51:11.760 –> 00:51:28.350
Clifford Starks: And then you get your hands taped and then it gets even realer because now, you know, like oh my God now you can’t back out you’re getting your hands to to just like this is even more real than the signing of the contract I’m really committed in this thing, and you put your gloves on.
00:51:29.790 –> 00:51:38.580
Clifford Starks: And in your head you’re like what in the hell is wrong with me like Why am I getting ready to do this, this is uncomfortable I’m feeling nervous.
00:51:40.320 –> 00:51:46.320
Clifford Starks: And they finally call your name and you start walking towards walking towards the arena.
00:51:48.000 –> 00:51:53.880
Clifford Starks: And it gets loud, because you can hear the crowd sherry are bowing hopefully sharing.
00:51:55.980 –> 00:52:04.650
Clifford Starks: Overall you’re not that one unless you like, to be and you’re going through the process and you’re going inside of this cage and they close the cage on you.
00:52:05.730 –> 00:52:12.630
Clifford Starks: Anyway, wow, this is about to get extremely extremely real yeah looking at.
00:52:13.110 –> 00:52:17.490
Mike Malatesta: Your control across yeah you’re looking at somebody who looks extremely extremely real.
00:52:17.700 –> 00:52:18.870
Clifford Starks: Yes, yes.
00:52:19.410 –> 00:52:22.890
Clifford Starks: you’re looking at you’re looking across at your component opponent and.
00:52:24.540 –> 00:52:40.860
Clifford Starks: The rule says, are you ready, this is the other guy are you ready let’s get it on and everything just goes into really narrow focus about the opponent, that you are, you are meeting in the Center of the cage.
00:52:41.640 –> 00:52:53.940
Clifford Starks: You are ready to see anything and everything that is coming your way and they’re probably ready to see anything and everything that is coming their way as well, and you get to see who the best person is that day.
00:52:54.990 –> 00:53:03.720
Clifford Starks: And my second fight was there’s levels to this courage game, because the fight wasn’t going my way.
00:53:05.310 –> 00:53:18.870
Clifford Starks: The guy was kicking the crap out of my leg, and it really hurt getting getting hit with with a Shin by a muay Thai fighter is not the most fun position to be in.
00:53:19.830 –> 00:53:31.710
Clifford Starks: And when it’s happening repeatedly it really isn’t the most fun position to be in and I got the chance to see who I was was I gonna buckle.
00:53:32.280 –> 00:53:40.140
Clifford Starks: And just give up because it wasn’t going my way or was I going to show up and give my best and see what happened.
00:53:41.100 –> 00:53:53.310
Clifford Starks: So what I did was I showed up, I gave my very best and somehow I pulled it out, I ended up winning that fight, and I couldn’t walk for two weeks, but I won.
00:53:53.970 –> 00:54:11.880
Clifford Starks: And having that on my belt where’s the say you can go through hellacious moments and come out on top, and it wouldn’t have mattered if I came out on top or not, because I know I gave my all and that’s, the most important piece, and I learned a lot from that fight.
00:54:12.720 –> 00:54:20.580
Mike Malatesta: And even then, even when your mind was you know your body was probably telling your brain hey we should get away from this, because it hurts.
00:54:20.760 –> 00:54:21.150
Clifford Starks: yeah.
00:54:21.180 –> 00:54:30.210
Mike Malatesta: A lot and so your mind your mind goes into protection mode right, but you have to go, you have to override it, I guess, and say yeah no it doesn’t hurt that much and.
00:54:30.240 –> 00:54:31.140
Clifford Starks: yeah you know.
00:54:31.410 –> 00:54:33.450
Mike Malatesta: Look what I’m doing to him now.
00:54:34.380 –> 00:54:36.810
Clifford Starks: yeah well for for me.
00:54:38.760 –> 00:54:50.100
Clifford Starks: It was more of the internal of who are you going to be when you have to look in the mirror it constantly comes back to the mirror, for me, I want to be proud of what I look at in the mirror.
00:54:51.120 –> 00:54:56.130
Clifford Starks: You know the first time I got that that real deep glimpse of myself and who I was.
00:54:57.570 –> 00:55:03.060
Clifford Starks: Now I realized like holy crap Well now, I get to look at this person in the mirror every day.
00:55:04.170 –> 00:55:10.950
Clifford Starks: and say, am I proud of this person, am I proud of what they’ve done, am I excited for their accomplishments.
00:55:12.090 –> 00:55:19.770
Clifford Starks: Or do I need to make some changes do I need to make some adjustments so in my fights every fight I’ve been super proud of.
00:55:20.910 –> 00:55:34.830
Clifford Starks: win or lose because I haven’t won them all, but I’m I came out and I gave my best, and I learned lessons along the way, and I got we call it the critter brain or the reptilian brain, or whatever you want to call it.
00:55:36.330 –> 00:55:46.740
Clifford Starks: When we can be strong, regardless of what that brain is doing that’s when we’re winning you know, because that happens inside of the arena and outside of the arena.
00:55:47.970 –> 00:55:55.170
Clifford Starks: you’re going to have to use that in your marriage with kids with family.
00:55:56.220 –> 00:56:03.000
Clifford Starks: With bosses, with people you work with with partners with teammates with everything.
00:56:04.830 –> 00:56:07.350
Mike Malatesta: What thanks for sharing that what is your family look like now.
00:56:09.000 –> 00:56:25.530
Clifford Starks: The family dynamic is me my wife and my two little kids one is five the other ones about 11 months now, and me and my wife has been married for 14 years nice yeah nice nice Nice.
00:56:27.000 –> 00:56:36.360
Mike Malatesta: Two questions at least two questions for you, and then we’ll be done first of all I I think I saw in your bio that choosing to.
00:56:37.950 –> 00:56:51.870
Mike Malatesta: Fight like you know MMA fight is the hardest thing that you’ve ever chosen intentionally to do and it made me think that’s an interesting way, to put it, so I thought i’d ask you what’s the hardest thing that you’ve had.
00:56:53.730 –> 00:56:55.830
Mike Malatesta: To fight unintentionally.
00:56:59.010 –> 00:57:00.840
Clifford Starks: So I’m.
00:57:02.490 –> 00:57:04.440
Clifford Starks: I had a family member passed away.
00:57:06.390 –> 00:57:09.360
Clifford Starks: And it was pretty devastating.
00:57:13.260 –> 00:57:14.730
Clifford Starks: And there were a piece of it.
00:57:16.500 –> 00:57:25.230
Clifford Starks: Even when it’s not your fault there’s a piece of you that takes responsibility for it, especially when you’re a person who knows the importance of taking responsibility.
00:57:26.730 –> 00:57:29.220
Clifford Starks: So you really hold on to that, and you gotta.
00:57:31.140 –> 00:57:33.150
Clifford Starks: You gotta fight those demons.
00:57:34.410 –> 00:57:35.310
Clifford Starks: Of.
00:57:37.650 –> 00:57:39.630
Clifford Starks: You can’t be all things to all people.
00:57:41.160 –> 00:57:45.960
Clifford Starks: You know, we we want to do it so right and we want to make no mistakes.
00:57:47.250 –> 00:57:51.750
Clifford Starks: And sometimes we look back at things and go if I could have should have would have.
00:57:52.980 –> 00:58:02.070
Clifford Starks: And it doesn’t happen that way, and then sometimes you learn even more, you know you learn more of the story, and you look at the story completely different.
00:58:03.300 –> 00:58:05.250
Clifford Starks: You have to fight those demons as well.
00:58:07.260 –> 00:58:09.060
Mike Malatesta: yeah thanks for sharing that.
00:58:09.480 –> 00:58:09.840
00:58:11.790 –> 00:58:16.530
Mike Malatesta: When you’re working with people now Cliff what is the what is for you.
00:58:17.640 –> 00:58:28.770
Mike Malatesta: What is, and I know you you you’re going to flip this on me and say what’s important is what it’s in for them, but for you what’s, what is your victory when you’re.
00:58:30.120 –> 00:58:31.680
Mike Malatesta: You know when you’re working with.
00:58:33.150 –> 00:58:39.660
Mike Malatesta: entrepreneurs and executives through your transformational coaching what, how do you know when you’re winning.
00:58:49.980 –> 00:58:51.630
Clifford Starks: Were we in this together.
00:58:54.660 –> 00:58:57.840
Clifford Starks: Was I the person that helped him through their process.
00:59:00.000 –> 00:59:05.310
Clifford Starks: You know I I sometimes think of my situation, where I was younger.
00:59:06.570 –> 00:59:09.150
Clifford Starks: And people are going to come in and out of our lives.
00:59:10.560 –> 00:59:15.000
Clifford Starks: And there’s a saying blood is thicker than water right.
00:59:17.040 –> 00:59:17.940
Clifford Starks: And it’s.
00:59:19.680 –> 00:59:28.350
Clifford Starks: Actually, looked at that quote differently, because I I’ve heard it a couple of different ways, a general realize how powerful it was for me.
00:59:29.250 –> 00:59:41.760
Clifford Starks: But a lot of people were given the impression blood is thicker than water means your family is deeper rooted, then people are outside of the family and.
00:59:43.140 –> 00:59:51.690
Clifford Starks: There was a scholar who explained it’s the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.
00:59:52.770 –> 01:00:01.560
Clifford Starks: meaning the blood, sweat and tears that you take on with somebody is deeper than the person who has birth to you.
01:00:02.910 –> 01:00:11.490
Clifford Starks: And so, in my life, I feel like I’ve really done right by my clients when they know I did the best that I could.
01:00:12.450 –> 01:00:22.320
Clifford Starks: And I did it with full integrity, regardless of what the outcome is going to be the outcomes important it’s important, but you have to.
01:00:23.160 –> 01:00:30.450
Clifford Starks: You have to go out there and see what happens, just like a fight I can’t tell my coach you screwed up because.
01:00:30.990 –> 01:00:40.920
Clifford Starks: Nova coach just get you ready for everything you need to get ready for right, but you have to step into your arena, and then you get to see him, am I going to show up or am I not.
01:00:41.490 –> 01:00:51.630
Clifford Starks: or things, even going to work out my way sometimes that the fighters just a better fighter that day, so you you just have to know you and your coach went out and did everything you could.
01:00:52.980 –> 01:00:54.720
Clifford Starks: Ever every rock that was possible.
01:00:57.420 –> 01:01:01.080
Mike Malatesta: The blood of the covenant is thicker than the blood of the womb that that is.
01:01:02.280 –> 01:01:06.450
Mike Malatesta: I was not expecting that to be part of the answer that is fantastic.
01:01:06.870 –> 01:01:07.110
Clifford Starks: yeah.
01:01:07.140 –> 01:01:14.550
Mike Malatesta: Thank you, I was fantastic so Clifford How do people get Ahold of you or reach out to you what, what do you want people to do.
01:01:15.060 –> 01:01:25.650
Clifford Starks: yeah so ultimately I’m really focused on building my Facebook group and it’s called the mvp mastery and mvp stands for mind body business.
01:01:26.310 –> 01:01:37.560
Clifford Starks: it’s a private group so if you’re an entrepreneur, and you have a big dream and you’re looking to turn that big dream because I’m not looking for small dreams I’m looking for big dreams.
01:01:38.190 –> 01:01:54.150
Clifford Starks: If you’re looking to turn a big dream into a reality come on in you know you’re more than welcome and I like to see what we can create and see how we can make those those dreams solutions like see how we can make them a reality.
01:01:55.290 –> 01:01:55.740
Mike Malatesta: Okay.
01:01:57.090 –> 01:01:58.740
Mike Malatesta: The the MTV.
01:01:59.910 –> 01:02:02.520
Mike Malatesta: yeah what is it the mvp.
01:02:02.850 –> 01:02:04.200
Clifford Starks: mvp mastery.
01:02:04.290 –> 01:02:15.630
Clifford Starks: yeah I may even be calling it mvp Community eventually I haven’t decided yet, but yeah stands for mind body business because it’s about getting all three right okay.
01:02:15.930 –> 01:02:18.210
Mike Malatesta: And you’ve got your your website is your name.
01:02:18.780 –> 01:02:20.760
Clifford Starks: yeah Clifford Clifford starks calm.
01:02:21.720 –> 01:02:23.430
Mike Malatesta: And thank you.
01:02:23.910 –> 01:02:26.700
Mike Malatesta: yeah amazing conversation I really enjoyed.
01:02:27.990 –> 01:02:42.180
Mike Malatesta: This and getting to know you and learning about you and sharing these got so many wonderful words you shared the you know practice of courage, courage practice that last one really good that’s a really good stuff it’s been an honor to get to get to know you Cliff Thank you.
01:02:42.480 –> 01:02:46.170
Clifford Starks: yeah Thank you Mike I appreciate it, I think your audience as well.