Liminality & Change (413)

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Episode transcript below:

0:00:07 – Mike Malatesta:
Hey everybody, welcome back to the how to Happen podcast for this Friday free thinking Friday solo episode. Today I am going to be talking about something that I never heard of until very recently but, as you know from the last, I’ve mentioned it once or twice in my podcast so far, and there’ll be more of that coming. I am now have developed this new program that I call the dream exit, and the dream exit is really a program that’s tailored to entrepreneurs who have businesses between 5 million and 100 million in annual revenue, who may not have ever thought about how they will eventually exit that business. And I put this together because what I’ve seen, both in you know, certainly in my own experiences and experiences that I’ve had with other entrepreneurs is that the thinking process about what it takes to have what I call the dream exit and I’ll define what that is really doesn’t occur. And what normally ends up happening is an offer will come along to the entrepreneur for a business and they’re totally unprepared for it. But they have an offer and think it’s a good offer and they start down the path and they think that they’re going to one, get through the process with a sophisticated buyer on the other end and get a deal that is in their maximum interest. And two, they don’t think much about what happens after this thing that I haven’t prepared for actually closes and I no longer have the business and I have to figure out what to do next.

So in my world and I’m going to bring this around to why I’m, why this topic is so interesting to me, the dream exit is two things. It is the one selling your business for its maximum value. That’s number one. But more importantly, and I think way more importantly, it’s about being prepared for maximum meaning or purpose in your post sale or post exit life. Those are those two things, if they come together, to me is the dream exit that I think everyone, every entrepreneur, deserves. But more times than not, at least in my experience, that is not what’s going to occur. You’re not going to get both of those things. Sometimes you get neither, and I want to change that. I want to help as many entrepreneurs as I can get ready for and actually achieve the dream exit that they’ve earned and that they deserve. And so, anyway, that’s what brings me back to this topic that I had heard nothing about until recently, but it reminded, fit in really, really nicely with this meaning part, this purpose, part of the dream exit, and this is about a concept called liminality I-L-I-M-I-N-A-L-I-T-Y, and I heard about this from a woman named Samantha Chris K-R-I-S, and she this liminality talk, or her goal setting talk, is actually the number one TED talk on goal setting. So she’s made an impact and I’m going to read for you what she talks about with liminality, because it aligns very well with two modules in the dream exit playbook, which are module number four, preparing the entrepreneur for a sale, and module number nine, getting ready for your post exit life. So let’s get started here Liminality.

Liminal space is the space between what is and what is next. Physical liminal spaces come in the form of bridges, hallways and staircases, to name a few. Their sole purpose is to help you transition from point A to point B. Emotional, emotional, metaphorical and even spiritual liminal spaces serve the same purpose and represent the crossing of a new threshold, from who you are to what you are becoming. This is something leaders have long felt but seldom have had a name for and, I’ll add, so seldom have done much real. Real thinking about liminal is derived from the Latin word liman, or liman meaning threshold. It’s a period of ambiguity, disorientation and potential creativity, as the normal limits to thought, self understanding and behavior are relaxed or suspended.

Ways to lean into liminality Navigating liminal space will never feel easy, because each time you step into it you are a different version of yourself, crossing into a new threshold. But I have learned this is she speaking? But I have learned a few ways to lean into liminality with a little more ease. And here are those things. Number one get clear on your values. Your values serve as your internal compass and while you may not always know where you’re going, you can always know you’re going in the right direction. Number two keep your ego in check, and this is a big one. Your ego is going to want to defend the thoughts, opinions, decisions and beliefs of your current self.

When you find yourself resisting change, ask yourself if it’s because it conflicts with your values or your ego. Most of the time, it’s the latter. Until you outsmart your ego, your ego will always win. And I will add that there’s one of my favorite writers is named is Steven Pressfield, and Steven Pressfield has several books where he talks about this thing called resistance, which is what Samantha mentions there, and how powerful it is at keeping us from doing the things that we know we are able to do. So it might be worth checking out Steven Pressfield to get his thoughts on resistance and how to overcome it, which I think is really well. I think he has a very unique way of framing it up and helping you figure out how to how to work through resistance and resisting change.

Number three remember that possibility propels change. Uncertainty triggers fear, and when we operate from a place of fear, we are often closed to new ideas and experiences. Your growth and the growth of the communities you serve will be stifled unless you remain open to possibility and have the courage to do things differently. Be open, have the courage. Number four know that you are not your experiences. Liminal spaces will prompt a great deal of self reflection. This is not an invitation to fall victim to blame, shame and guilt. This is an opportunity to learn from your decisions and carry the lessons through to the next chapter of your story.

Number five don’t rush the process. Waiting to speed through liminal spaces defeats the purpose. Trust me, I’ve tried. This is her speaking. Take your time. I should say I’ve done that too. Take your time and explore what comes through when you actually give yourself space to be just you, without forcing any others any answers. See what your ideas, emotions, observations and questions reveal about who you are becoming and what you want for your future.

And I’m going to add that I think I just had lunch with a colleague yesterday who had sold his business, and he was telling me how he had taken the summer off and how refreshing it was to not have the responsibility of doing things, and how he could just sit and think, and I think there’s a tremendous amount of power to that. I do think, though, that that power can be multiplied if you give yourself the opportunity to sit and think before the event actually happens and not just after the event happens, and that may be easier said than done, but it’s part of the dream. Exit playbook planning is to make time for that kind of reflection before the event happens, because I feel like the better prepared you are on the front end, the better prepared and executable your time will be on the back end. And number six, and this is the last one, doing the internal work is hard, catalyzing change is hard, leadership is hard, but the world needs people like us, the ones who know it’ll be hard and do it Anyway.

So again, that’s Liminality by Samantha Chris K-R-I-S number one TED Talk. I forget how I came upon this, but it was such a new idea. It’s kind of weird that you still get introduced to these words that I never heard of, like Liminality, but as I read it, it really connected with me and the work that I’m doing now in the Dream Exit program, and I wanted to share that with you today, because you don’t have to be an entrepreneur to get a lot of value out of those six tips about how to deal with Liminality. So thank you so much for joining me for this Friday free thinking episode, and I’ll leave you with this please, today, maximize the greatness that I know is inside of you and work on making your future something that you own, something that you own like property and something that you can be very, very proud to own. Until next time. Bye, hey everybody.

Thanks for listening to this show and before you go, I just have three requests for you. One if you like what I’m doing, please consider subscribing or following the podcast on whatever podcast platform you prefer. If you’re really into it, leave me a review, write something nice about me, give me five stars or whatever you feel is most appropriate. Number two I’ve got a book called owner shift how getting selfish got me unstuck. It’s an Amazon bestseller and I’d love for you to read it or listen to it on Audible or wherever else Barnes and Noble, amazon you can get it everywhere. If you’re looking for inspiration that will help you unlock your greatness and potential, order or download it today so that you can have your very own copy and if you get it, please let me know what you think.

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