Markus Kaulius – Don’t Fight Your History (470)

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Episode transcript below:

00:00 – Mike Malatesta (Host)
Hi everyone, mike Malatesta here and welcome back to the How’d it Happen podcast. On this podcast, I dig in deep with every guest to explore the roots of their success, to discover not just how it happened, but why it matters. My mission is to find and share stories that inspire, activate and maximize the greatness in you. On today’s episode, I’m talking with someone who came from a broken home, who was essentially lost in the world until everything changed on a trip to Hawaii when he was 15. Marcus Collius is an entrepreneur, a speaker, an author, a bodybuilder and an inspiration. We talk about why he doesn’t fight his history, which is something I’ve never heard anyone say before. We talk about how to peel away what the world tells you to be, to get to who you really are, how to be the author of your own story and how K knowledge minus A action equals zero. In other words, action makes everything happen. Get ready to feel like you can change the world.

01:04 – Marcus Kaulius (Guest)
I know that I’m supposed to be a very specific person on this planet and I know that everybody has their unique role on this planet. There’s only one of you on this whole planet and this planet needs the authentic you and unfortunately, we all pretend to be something we’re not and we allow social media to correct us and go no, no, no, no. You know, let’s water you down a little bit. You want everybody to like you. This is how you should be, even if that’s not how you really are, and it’s because of that that we feel like we’re struggling and swimming upstream so much. But the few people out there, like myself, who figured out how to be their authentic selves, what you recognize is the world that gets a lot easier.

01:47 – Mike Malatesta (Host)
This episode is sponsored by the Dream Exit. The Dream Exit is a private bespoke program for successful entrepreneurs with annual revenue between $5 million and $100 million who realize that they have one chance to get their dream exit right and that the odds of realizing that dream by themselves, all alone or at the last minute are stacked against them. In less than 90 days, we teach you how to design, build and execute a customized dream exit playbook that gets your business ready for sale at its maximum value and gets you ready to maximize your meaning and purpose in your post-exit life, even if today you are not ready to sell. You see, dream exits just don’t happen. They are the result of early, professional and proven planning. So if you’re an entrepreneur with annual sales between five and 100 million and you want to learn how to 10x to 100x your chances of achieving the dream exit you deserve, go to dreamexitplaybookcom today. And now here’s Marcus. Marcus, welcome to the how Did it Happen podcast.

03:00 – Marcus Kaulius (Guest)
Mike, so honored to be here, excited for this conversation. We’re going to do some good today, brother.

03:06 – Mike Malatesta (Host)
We are going to do some good. I like that. Thank you for that vote of confidence and I expect that we will do, perhaps without bragging, maybe a little bit more than a little. I told you all a little bit about Marcus in the intro and now I’m going to tell you a little bit more about him. So Marcus Collius is an eight-figure serial entrepreneur and the founder of Magnum Nutraceuticals and the Energy of Success Corporation. Over his 25-plus year career, he grew his supplement company, which is Magnum, from a startup to $170 million and helped clients worldwide lose over 2 million pounds.

03:45
As a thought leader in the industry, he advises companies on growth strategy and has been featured in major media such as PBS, fox News and CNN and a bunch of others. If you’ll get to his website, you’ll see all kinds of stuff. He’s got 300,000 plus social media followers and his daily insights with his community spanning business, strategy, mindset, health and, most important of all, faith, and he’s committed to sharing lessons learned from his entrepreneurial journey to help other high achievers break free from imbalance and feelings of discontent which is so weird that there’s so much of that out there, marcus so that they can find fulfillment beyond career success. So that’s a bunch of stuff, and before we get into all of it, let’s just get started with something simple, which is a question how did it happen for you, marcus?

04:39 – Marcus Kaulius (Guest)
I think my life was created in a very specific way that led me to this place, and I believe that’s true for everybody. I don’t fight my history. I don’t look at my history as this horrible story of baggage and boy. There was suffering, there was challenges, but if we learn to look at that as preparation for the person that we’re supposed to be man, it can really radically change our lives.

05:09
So I’m someone who grew up in a tough situation. We grew up in a broken home, poor in every way, not just financially but spiritually, health. It was poor and for years I struggled with seeing how that would be a gift. But once I started to own that and understand that these were gifts for me to become a better version of myself, I got unstuck. I know there’s so many people who feel stuck. I felt stuck for so many years and I started to take action and man I do. I ever think action is the secret ingredient. It’s a secret ingredient for life. It’s a secret that very few people are willing to explore. You take some action, you do some stuff, you learn a lot more and then life starts to change.

05:58 – Mike Malatesta (Host)
You said something very interesting there, and it was I don’t fight my history, and I don’t believe I’ve ever heard anyone say that before. How did you learn how not to fight your history? You talked about taking action and that, oh, I’ll be the devil’s advocate and not say, oh, that’s easy to say, Take action. And people look at you now and they go. Of course he took action. Look at the guy you know. But for the people who are having trouble, and I’ll took action, Look at the guy you know, but for the people who are having trouble, as am, and I’ll say that I’m one of them making sense of I don’t fight my history.

06:32
How? How explain that a little bit more.

06:38 – Marcus Kaulius (Guest)
I love this. So let me start by saying this this is a process, it’s a journey. What? What I’m going to give you? It might be step one of 100 or 1000, so don’t expect to hear it. And if it doesn’t resonate right away and change your life right away, don’t drop it.

06:57
Here’s the big question what if I’m right? What if everything that happened to you in your life was actually a blessing? I know that can be very hard, because some people have some unbelievable suffering, baggage, bondage, way worse than mine. But what if it was actually a blessing? How could that be true? And so, when you think of the tough stuff, so for me, my parents’ divorce screwed me up so bad for so many years. I was seven years old. My father wasn’t really in the picture, but now he was out of the picture and as a man, that’s so tough. As a boy, that’s so tough to grow up without a father around. Now my mother bless her. She now had to go back to work full time, but she also had to go back to school full time because she didn’t have the education to get a good enough job. So on that day I lost both of my parents. That was so tough for me and that screwed me up for so many years, of course, in that I could never think any of that was a blessing. But now I have to answer this question of what if it was a blessing? Well, because of that, I had to be strong, I had to be independent, I had to learn really quickly. I had to learn growth. I had to learn work ethic, man these are some beautiful things.

08:23
Because of that stuff, I’m the husband I am today. I love my wife. I’m obsessed with my wife. We’re coming up on 20 years. I’m there for my kids and I will always be there for my kids. That’s because of what I had in the past.

08:39
So it doesn’t mean you have to celebrate it, and there’s a really key distinction there. People misunderstand if you say it’s a blessing, oh great, these terrible things happened to me. I’m not saying that, but it’s about acceptance. You accept that it happened. You don’t have to fight it, you don’t have to go. It’s not right that it happened. I agree with you. Maybe it’s not right, but it did happen.

09:03
So now let’s focus on the future. Because of that I am this. Because of that I am here and I am this person. There must be things about you you like today. Well, a lot of that has to do with your past. So if you can just get to there, you can start to experience some beautiful growth out of going wow, so that’s the worst stuff in my life. What about these little challenges, man? These could actually turn into something beautiful too. And now think of how you’ll look at challenges that are in your face right now. You’ll accept them in a different way and you’ll get through them in a much better way, because they’re your next opportunity to grow, your next opportunity to become the better version, the best version of yourself and okay.

09:50 – Mike Malatesta (Host)
So you’re seven years old. Your dad’s maybe permanently out of your life, at least for at that particular time. Your mom, you know, has to double down on work and on school because she’s got family to support uh, I guess largely on her. You weren’t starting with much based on what you said. Who did you turn to? I mean, who, like a seven-year-old, probably doesn’t come to that realization on his or her own market? So who were the influences? Who were you paying attention to? Who led you to what you described?

10:26 – Marcus Kaulius (Guest)
That’s a great question and you’re absolutely right. I wasn’t seven, I wasn’t eight, I wasn’t nine. I went until I was 15 in a really dark place.

10:36
And I would say yeah, at 15, I’d say, I hit my rock bottom and what it looked like for me. At rock bottom, I had so many years of sadness and pain and struggle and I also had this massive Lithuanian growth spurt that left me six foot four and 120 pounds and my health was terrible because I was feeding myself, so my diet consisted of Slurpees and Eggo waffles that were drenched in syrup and butter. It was not pretty. At 15, my father came back into my life for a moment and he said hey, I’m going on a trip with my new family and we’d like for you to join us. Okay, wonderful. And I really felt on that plane ride. We were going to Hawaii and again growing up poor.

11:26
You can imagine how excited I was just to be leaving and on that plane ride I felt God saying to me hey, where you’re going, you don’t have to be who the world has told you to be. I’m six foot four, 120 pounds. The world has said to me no confidence, you deserve no self-worth, you are not pretty. And the bullies reinforced it really hard, like I was bullied, bad and, of course, accepting all of that and believing all of that, I couldn’t get girls to notice me Like this was a sad rock bottom point in my life and when I heard that voice, I felt it.

12:06
When I got off the plane, I was a totally different human being, and this is what’s really excited about this part of my journey. I truly believe that everybody knows inside of them who they are supposed to be, who they want to be. Now it’s a different journey. But if I said to you you want to be a more confident self, what does that look like? Well, everybody knows, okay. Well, I guess I’d look a little more like this and I’d give you a little more eye contact and I’d shake your hand a little firmer and I’d be more confident in who I am and I wouldn’t be afraid to be who I am. And that’s how I stepped off the plane and everybody accepted me for who I was.

12:48
It was the greatest moments of my life because I had never felt this way before. I was going on dates, I was hanging out with the coolest guys, nobody would bully me, and I recognized just like in an instant you can change everything, and it just starts here. In an instant you can change everything and it just starts here. Now, of course, it’s not always exactly that easy. And going home. I’m sitting there going, oh my goodness, no one at home knows I’m cool now, and so that’s where the real work began, and I had to put in so many habits to become this man I wanted to be, but I knew that it was in my control.

13:29 – Mike Malatesta (Host)
So I’ve heard people talk about this is so interesting. You’re on this plane ride from Vancouver to Hawaii and you decide during the plane ride that when you come off, you’re going to come off as a different person, and it reminds me a little bit of Bob, like Kobe Bryant, with that alter ego thing that people teach Can’t remember what he was Mamba Black, Mamba Black Mamba.

14:01
And that’s what was resonating in my head while you were telling that story. It’s like, okay, I’m with a new family, right, I’m going to a new place, I’m going to make the best of this and I’m going to come off of this and I’m going to say pretend you can tell me that you weren’t. I’m going to pretend I’m somebody else, somebody that I think I would rather be and see how it goes, and I don’t want to put words in your mouth. That’s what I’m thinking. I want to know is that how you would describe it now?

14:37 – Marcus Kaulius (Guest)
Mike, I really like this because you’re peeling back the layers. So I really do appreciate this, and I also love the detail. I actually wouldn’t describe it as pretending, and here’s the reason why because now you’re going to get away from your integrity and authenticity, and I wasn’t trying to create a false persona. I wasn’t trying to create a character. I didn’t want to be something fake, and there’s only so long that you can hold that fakeness up. What I was actually doing is I was peeling away what the world told me I was supposed to be.

15:09
They said you look like that. You’re that skinny and that tall. Well, you should be embarrassed. You can’t be too loud, you shouldn’t be proud or you shouldn’t be confident. You should be in this little box that we tell you to tell you to go in. And I just want everybody listening to be thinking about has the world put you in a box and tell you, to tell you to go in? And I just want everybody listening to be thinking about has the world put you in a box? And if you aren’t seeing that, the answer is yes.

15:32
The world has got together. The fast food companies, netflix, pharmaceuticals, they’ve all gotten together and said here’s what we’re comfortable with you being. We’d like you to be on the couch more. We want you on these drugs. We want you eating this much fast food and your friends and family, unfortunately, have also supported this situation. We want less of you. You got to be into this box so when I got off that plane, who I was was who I always wanted to be.

16:04
I shed the crap that the world was telling me I had to be and every day since I’ve worked more towards who I want to be my authentic self. I know that I’m supposed to be a very specific person on this planet and I know that everybody has their unique role on this planet. There’s only one of you on this whole planet and this planet needs the authentic you and unfortunately, we all pretend to be something we’re not and we allow social media to correct us and go no, no, no, no. You know, let’s. Let’s water you down a little bit. You want everybody to like you. This is how you should be, even if that’s not how you really are, and it’s because of that that we feel like we’re struggling and swimming upstream so much. But the few people out there like myself who figured out how to be their authentic selves. What you recognize is the world. It gets a lot easier. It gets easier to sleep at night. It gets easier to connect with people, because you’re going to connect with the people you’re supposed to connect with.

17:09
Now. It doesn’t mean that everyone’s going to like me. In fact, I’m sure people are listening right now, going I’m not buying this, I’m not feeling this. I’m okay with that. I’m a very specific cup of tea. It’s not for everybody. Now, if I water down my tea, then everybody’s’s going to go yeah, he’s okay, it’s a watered down cup of tea, that’s fine. I don’t care for that. I’m good with people going this tea. I don’t like the flavor, because I know there’s a whole bunch of people on the other side going what? I’ve never tasted tea like this. I could drink this tea all the time. I’ve never tasted tea like this. I could drink this tea all the time.

17:48
So what we need to do is focus on hanging out with the people who like our cup of tea and just letting go of the people who don’t. And it doesn’t mean I surround myself with yes, men, these aren’t people who are like yeah, marcus is the best, it’s Marcus, marcus, you can’t do any more. No, but it’s the people who appreciate for me, for me and when I spend time with those people, I’m also great and encourage them to challenge me, keep me accountable, because I’m not just happy with the way I am today. I am, but I want more. I want more growth, I want to experience more, I want to serve more people and I spend time in the circles with the people who want me to do that and they want me to challenge them to do the same. That gets really exciting.

18:33 – Mike Malatesta (Host)
So when someone comes to you, Marcus, a 15-year-old or a 50-year-old, and they say to you, and they say to you I’m not sure what or who my authentic self is, I agree with you that everyone has this thing that makes them special. I call it the greatness inside of them.

18:57
Everybody has this right, I love it, it’s there. Can you mine it and bring it out and then polish it up and you know, make it. But I also know that a lot of people struggle with, especially like, in light of some of the things you mentioned. You know the advertisements. Everything’s saying either what you should be or what you deserve to be. You deserve, you know what you deserve to be.

19:19
So, someone that’s 15 or 50,. They come to you and they say I don’t know who my authentic self is. How do you help them find it? How do you think about helping them find it?

19:33 – Marcus Kaulius (Guest)
This is such a great question too. So, again, this is a journey, so this won’t happen overnight. Yeah, so I’m going to ask. I’m going to ask a few questions, I’m going to help you start to move towards this. And, by the way, anybody who’s listening I know we’re going to talk about my book later, but these challenges and these big questions, they’re all in my book and there’s so many exercises on getting you on this path, because I know I’m speaking a language that a lot of people need to hear, which is I.

20:03
I know I’m not being my authentic self. I know there’s more of me to give in this world. I know I could be playing a bigger game in life, but where do I start? Where do I go? And I’m almost speaking to 15-year-old Marcus Like, let me help you so that you don’t have to spend the next 30 years doing this, but hopefully you can do it in five years or eight years and experience as much success and fulfillment as I’ve experienced and then go way past me. I’m so good with that. That’s the legacy I’d love to live.

20:36
So a couple of my first questions are this what really excites you in life? What are the things that you do that really excite you, who are the people who you spend time with that really excite you? And why Dive into these things? So people have these pieces of their life. Well, hey, you know, I’ll tell you, when I’m in the gym, I feel alive. When I’m on the basketball court, I feel alive Great. Why do you think that is? Well, you know, I’m running around, I’m bumping with buddies, we laugh, we’re joking, okay, great. So this is really important. Communication, relationships, these are important to you. Now, yes, you might be going. Isn’t that important? To most people it is, but there’s more to it. Some introverts would be like oof, that doesn’t excite me Great. What excites? Well, when I’m alone and I’m curled up with a book, that is one of my favorite places Great. Let’s explore that. Why is that? Now, the flip side of this. But it also helps really help you understand who you are authentically supposed to be.

21:44
What pisses you off in life and what I mean by that is is that we’re not trying to go down a negative path, but the things that anger you. To the core of this is an injustice in the world. Those are going to teach you who you are supposed to be. The things that piss you off don’t necessarily piss me off, and there’s things that will piss you off that sure they might universally oh yeah, universally. You know people starving. That’s really upsetting, but most people aren’t pissed off enough to do anything about it.

22:20
If it really pisses you off, there’s something very unique about you. Maybe that’s what you’ve been put on this planet to combat. Maybe there’s something you can do in your life, in your career, in whatever, to help that. See, these are just little clues, and the more you go down it so let’s say, you found something in there, you found a little clue that’s like, yeah, this really pissed me off. Okay, what if you found a few more people in life who are also that excited and passionate about that and you spend some time with them? Does it excite you even more? Oh, my goodness, it’s like this is my tribe, won’t that tell you so much? And in your tribe.

23:04
So for me, when I was starting to work out and then it wasn’t just the working out which excited me so much, I just loved being in the gym, I loved fitness, I loved what it was doing for me. But then I got to spend some time with people who were businessmen, who also loved working out. Oh, now, we were really narrowing the field. So these were guys who were doing cool things in business, but then they also loved fitness. They love what it did for their body, for their mind, and they started to help me down that path. And I started to look at them and going these are the things I like about these guys.

23:37
Now, of course, these guys aren’t perfect. They’ve got their other things in life and, without judgment, but looking at their life, I’m going okay, here are the things I like, here are the things I’m going to learn from and I’m going to be mentored by them and I’m going to copy them. I’m going to model after them. But I also see some things that don’t work for me. I don’t like this, this and this.

24:00
So my version is going to be fixing those little things. And how do I fix those little things? Well, you know what? If I want to be a better father, I’m going to go over here to this group of people who are obsessed with being a great father, and I’m going to learn from these guys and spend time with these guys. The more you spend time with the people who have the same passions, the same excitement, the things that drive them, who have the same passions, the same excitement, the things that drive them, that drive you. You are going to learn from them. You can model after them. You don’t have to learn this stuff on your own, and that is really exciting, and that is what will push you further ahead so much faster.

24:37 – Mike Malatesta (Host)
It’s funny. We were talking about the subtitle of your book before we got on and we’re going to get to your book. But, as you were talking here, the subtitle of my book is how Getting Selfish Got Me Unstuck. How Getting Selfish Got Me Unstuck.

24:54
And so you hear those words and you could say I’m not sure I like that person, I’m not sure I like that person, I’m not sure I like what that means, because we’ve been conditioned to have this definition or association with the word selfish. That is not accepted as being a virtue. It’s accepted as being something other than a virtue. And I only bring it up because I want to link it back to this authenticity thing, because you’ve said so many great things in there. But one of the things is like okay, so how getting selfish got me unstuck? Some people could look at that and go, ah, that’s not very I don’t like that. I don’t like that about you. That’s not the tea I want to drink, to use your thing. But what about like, if you’re authentic, but there’s something about you that you don’t like?

25:42
about your authenticity or that other people don’t appreciate about it, but it gets in the way. Not like you may not be my cup of tea, and that’s okay, or the flavor I like exactly, but some people’s authenticity can be a little off, a little out of sorts sometimes. So I’m just curious how you think about that part and if there’s anything authentic about you that you would change if you could.

26:09 – Marcus Kaulius (Guest)
Oh, these are great questions. So first of all, I want to talk about this word selfish for a second, because I am in full agreement with you it’s just a misunderstood word, it has just one set of connotations and it’s all bad. I encourage people so much to dive a little bit into their selfish behavior to figure stuff out, and so there’s two groups of people that I love to encourage the most with this, and I want to focus on just one, and that’s new moms. New moms whenever I see them in the gym. So I’ve owned a gym for many years and when I see young moms, it’s one of my favorite and I always come over to encourage them. And they’ve got their baby there, and I just come over and I say, listen, I want to tell you something. I know many moms have spoken to thousands, not tens of thousands. I want to encourage you.

27:03
You are not being selfish by being here. It’s a fear like oh, should I be dragging my kid to the gym? Absolutely yes. It’s actually the most unselfish thing you can do, and I truly mean that. Why? Because you are taking care of you. If you are not taking care of, how can you properly take care of that baby Plus. Not only are you putting some effort into your own health, but you’re showing that child every day that health is important. This is something that nobody is doing. People are overlooking this every single day. So I also encourage people when they’re deciding if they should be doing exercise I don’t know.

27:46
I feel selfish getting into the gym. It is one of the most unselfish things you can do, because if you are not getting exercise, you are not showing up as the parent, as the worker, as the leader that this universe needs you to be, because you don’t have the energy, you’re not sleeping as well as you should, you’re not healthy as you should. You’re becoming more of a burden on the healthcare system and the people around you. If you are not taking care of yourself today, guess who’s taking care of you tomorrow? Your kids and all of us, all of us taxpayers. And this isn’t to come down on you, for anybody who’s listening to this is like oh, he’s bashing me for being unhealthy. No, this is encouragement and mercy, and I’m trying to give you some slack here, to be a bit more selfish, to try and change your story, to say what if I was being selfish by not working out, by not getting exercise. You watch how much you are able to contribute to this world and to the people around you if you are a healthier version of yourself.

28:53
Now this actually connects quite well into the second part, which your question of what if there’s something about your authentic self you don’t like? Well, guess what your authentic self can change anything. That’s what’s really exciting. You are the author of your story and just in case anybody’s going whoa, whoa, whoa, you know, I have God in my life. God’s the author of my story. This is not going against your religion. No matter what religion you are, I am the co-writer of my story. God has given me the strength and the power to write my story exactly how I want to and how I want to be. My authentic self is who I’m called to be. If there’s something I don’t like, I can change it. So for me, I had a body I did not like. I was starting to become my authentic self, but I knew my authentic self also wanted a super healthy physique that could do incredible things and it wasn’t just for the looks, of course.

29:56
In my teens, in my early twenties, yeah, I wanted to get looked at, but then it quickly became no, I’m actually want a body that can do amazing things. My body today can digest really well, can help me sleep really well, heal from things, I don’t get sick. The incredible things I can do with weights blows my mind every day and it challenges me. That excites me, me. So I didn’t like it and I made changes. You can change whatever you don’t like. Will it happen like this? No, but it starts with a decision. It starts with a decision that I will change and if I’m going to commit to this change, I need to commit to habits that are going to build the person I want to be and and get rid of habits that support the person you don’t want to be.

30:45 – Mike Malatesta (Host)
Yes, yeah, so good. Okay, so 15-year-old Marcus gets off the flight in Hawaii and you’ve described how you approach that 15-year-old Marcus, gets off that return flight back in Vancouver. How does he feel? And then what happens to him afterward?

31:12 – Marcus Kaulius (Guest)
These are great questions. So I had a little bit of fear coming back, as one would, going man, no one knows the new me. I don’t know how they’re going to accept it. To be honest, I don’t think a lot of them will. And I’m going to tell you right now, as you start to make changes, to grow and to become a better version of yourself, most people in your life will not accept it because to some degree, you are actually killing off the person that they love. I know that sounds extreme, but that person is going to be put to death. That person, who I was before I left, was a specific person. I wanted nothing to do with that person anymore. They’re gone To me. They were already dead and I’m sorry if that hurts you that that person’s dead.

32:02
But this better version of me, this is who I’m supposed to be, and I know if you’re listening and you’re like I want to grow like that, you have to commit to it in that way. And so it was some difficult conversations. I gave people some mercy and I didn’t give them just one shot Like hey, mike, this is the new me, accept it or you’re out of my life. And I know a lot of people hear things that way and they hear growth strategies that way, and you got to remove toxic people. Sometimes, unfortunately, that is exactly it. Like I had some people who were like this is bull crap, this is not you. I know you. You’re such and such and such and such, and those things that they were describing were the smallest version of me. And when I heard their voice describing these things, it was because they liked stepping on my head. Yeah, you were nice and low, so I could just step on you and I could crush you whenever I fit. And that made me feel good about myself to crush you. So when I heard those things, I was like I’m just going to mention it to you one more time this is the new me. I really like this. I like the path I’m on right now. I like where I’m going. If you aren’t willing to join me on this new path and can accept me for who I am, I’m not going to stop loving you. I love you. You are a great part of my old chapter. I’d love for you to join me on my new chapter, but if you won’t accept me as the new me and you want to drag me back that way, I’m sorry, you will be part of my old chapter and that’s where that chapter ends.

33:35
It’s a tough conversation and of course, that doesn’t work if you’re already married. I want to be. I want to be so clear with this. I’m not giving you the green light to now walk away from your marriage or your kids or anything like that. Those are much bigger and longer conversations that can be counseled. There’s some good stuff in there, but a lot of relationships. It’s a couple conversations and you’re going to find out pretty quick who wants to be on board. And there were people who said you know, yeah, I’m not, I’m not going to be part of this, and they took two or three years and then they started to see where I was going and they were like hey, my bad, can I get back on on on board with you? I love the new you and I want to support you and I was like great, I love it. Come on, join me.

34:21 – Mike Malatesta (Host)
Right. Well, I love how you made that distinction too, because with your spouse or family members, there’s a difference between a commitment and a relationship. You have relationships with all kinds of people, but you’re not necessarily committed to those people, nor are they to you, and so if they’re part of your old life as you described it, that they’re part of your old life. As you, as you described it, that’s just not fighting your history, that’s right right, that’s right.

34:49 – Marcus Kaulius (Guest)
Well said way to bring it back your dad?

34:51 – Mike Malatesta (Host)
did he stay? Has he stayed in your life since that trip at 15?

34:56 – Marcus Kaulius (Guest)
so sadly, I say right now I have a good relationship with my dad. Okay, if you were looking at it from the outside, most people are like what? So we talk once or twice a year. It’s good, though I don’t hold anything against him. You know, to really fast forward over a lot of stuff. I fully forgive him and I, more than just forgive him for the stuff that went on in the past forgive him for the stuff that went on in the past I really appreciate who he was in my life. Because of him, I learned so many things, not always in a good way, like a lot of times I learned it because I didn’t want things to end up the way it ended up for him, but because of him up the way it ended up for him, but because of him, I’m an amazing father, like I have an incredible relationship with my girls. I’m there for them all the time. Because of him, I am the husband that I am today, and so how can I hold anything against him? So it’s beyond just forgiveness. I’m so grateful for the role he played in my life and, by the way, through that forgiveness and gratitude, my mind has opened up to see things that I would have never seen before. So my father also stopped the curse of abuse. I know how hard that is. I learned that when people are abused, it’s really easy for them to carry that on for generations and generations. My father stopped that. That’s incredible. Do you know how strong he had to be to stop that? And maybe the only way he could know how to stop that was to not be around. Know how to stop that was to not be around. So if my choices were to have that father in my life but he carried on the abuse or he wasn’t around, I choose it exactly how it went down. And there’s so many other lessons that I learned from that situation because I didn’t have that father in my life.

37:02
When I met Brooke’s father, my father-in-law Brian, I had so much love and respect for him. From the very moment I met him. He was this amazing Christian father and Heather, my mother-in-law, an amazing Christian mother. They were the most beautiful parents I had ever seen in my life and they took me in. They saw the brokenness in me from day one and they took me in from the first time I met them. They saw it in my eyes. I saw it in their eyes and I called them mom and dad and they called me son from the very first day. If I had a great relationship with my father, I can say for certain, that would not have happened. And it’s because of that love and respect that I had for Brian and Heather that Brooke fell in love with me. So if I could go back and I can have a great father but I don’t get Brooke and I don’t get Brian and I don’t get Heather and I don’t get my daughters, claire and Bailey, it’s not even a question, no chance. I wouldn’t change a thing.

38:11 – Mike Malatesta (Host)
And how about mom?

38:14 – Marcus Kaulius (Guest)
About my mom. Yeah, similar story. You know it’s a little bit sad in that I get it Like I see what relationships are kind of supposed to look like, but why do all relationships have to look that way? You know, I put in effort. I say I have a good relationship with my mom, but I don’t know her all that well, she doesn’t know me all that well, but I love her. I’m very grateful for who she was. I don’t blame her for anything that she did. She did what she had to do and she was so strong Holy smokes, was she strong? Do I have a great relationship where we talk once a week? No, but that’s okay. That’s okay. We have what we have. And again I learned what I needed to learn Right.

39:05 – Mike Malatesta (Host)
And you have that with Brian and Heather. It sounds like.

39:08 – Marcus Kaulius (Guest)
That’s right, and they are amazing.

39:11 – Mike Malatesta (Host)
Yeah Well, thanks for sharing going down that road with me. I I appreciate that oh and I learned from it.

39:18 – Marcus Kaulius (Guest)
Oh, mike, I really appreciate that.

39:19
And listen for anybody who’s listening to this. And they, they, you know something resonated with them. They relate to anything I I just said you know these are the kind of connections that, being your authentic you you’re’re going to feel something like, oh my goodness, like this guy’s talking to me, that might be the hint that you should come spend more time with me, like I would love that, because if you feel that connection, I’m quite certain I’ll probably feel that connection with you as well. So don’t fight that. If I’ve figured it out and I’ve gotten to the place where I’ve gotten to with this stuff and you are looking at it going, oh my goodness, I would love to get there with my baggage, or with my relationship with my dad, or my daddy issues or my mommy issues, if I’ve figured it out, there’s got to be something that I could do to help you figure out yours as well so, um, before we get there because I know your book is all about that, plus the work you’re doing that play a bigger game I want to get into.

40:21 – Mike Malatesta (Host)
I want to understand how Magnum Nutraceuticals, your company, came to be, how you got into that and then grew it to a size that most companies would never grow to, and then you left at some point as CEO last year maybe. So all of that is fascinating to me and, I think, to everyone listening. So let’s go there, tell us about that. I love it.

40:44 – Marcus Kaulius (Guest)
I love it. Let’s talk about how did it happen. So, again, going back to I was a teenager when I started my first businesses. I felt called to it. So, being my authentic self, I knew I was a very unemployable human being. I tried different jobs, learned tons, worked my butt off, used my work ethic, developed my work ethic, my encouragement. Right now, before I start this story, and it’s going to be the overarching theme of everything, I say Take action, start taking action on your stuff, start taking action in life. This is one of the biggest problems I see today. People don’t take action anymore. They consume. We consume information, we watch others, we learn, but then we don’t take action on it and we wonder why our lives don’t change. It’s because we’re not taking action.

41:40
So when I was young and I was, and I saw the opportunity for one of my first businesses, I was in university and my first real business I was selling supplements out of my bedroom. I just I loved supplementation, I loved working out and I became the supplement guy. People were all like wow, you are very passionate about supplements. Tell me, what should I be on these days? And it wasn’t long before my brain was like why are you just giving this information. Why don’t you sell them the products that you like? And people were legitimately saying well, what are you taking? I’ll take the same thing.

42:12
Okay, so I started selling supplements out of my bedroom and after a couple of years I started to ask myself questions like hey, I’m doing well, but I’m not. I’ve got bigger goals. I want to hit these numbers. What would I have to do to hit them out of my bedroom? That’s, that’s going to be tough and there’s going to be a lot of humans coming through this bedroom that I don’t think I like that. So I moved into my first store and then it turned into three stores and so I had this supplement store chain. And then, after a couple of years, I asked the same questions Okay, now I got bigger goals. I hit those goals, but now let’s think bigger. What do I have to do? Well, I’d have to have seven or 10 stores. I don’t like that.

42:54
Okay, so my brain started to think outside the box, and it was January 17th of 2005 that I felt God say to me you’re going to do it yourself, you’re going to create your own brand. And that was the day Magnum was born. And Magnum was born under this one premise. I’m going to infuse integrity into everything I do. I love the word integrity. We can get into that as well. I love talking about integrity, but I put integrity into everything, into that business.

43:24
And then for almost 19 years I ran that bad boy and I loved it. I loved so much, I learned so much. I took action every single day. I showed up and took action and I treated people the way I wanted to be treated. And then I felt called one day to sell the business and God bless me to sell the business last year. So I had this beautiful exit. I learned so much through the exit.

43:54
It was so exciting to move away from it and people are constantly like what? That was your baby. You were Magnum. People would constantly call me Magnum and they ask you know, are you looking back? Do you think you’ve made the right choice? I’ll be honest with you. I don’t even 1% look back and think about what if or regret, because I know I was called into this next chapter. Sure, it was comfortable. But when you start asking those questions of what’s next, is there more for me? The answer was absolutely yes. There’s more for me to do. There’s a whole new role for me to play in life and I love that. That excites me, that gets me out of bed. This is more peace and joy and excitement and love and gratitude and abundance that I’ve ever felt in my life and I love sharing that with people. And I had to take those steps to get to where I am today.

44:54 – Mike Malatesta (Host)
So, as you’re telling that story, here’s what’s in my mind. I call that a dream exit and I teach people about dream exits, and to me, a dream exit is two things it’s a convergence.

45:12
It’s a convergence of creating a situation that provides maximum value, or creates maximum value and also creates maximum meaning and too many business owners and entrepreneurs and you can you can check me on this if you want or you know, push back, but I think too many and you definitely don’t sound like one of them get to the point where they’ve lost excitement for their business and the only way they define themselves or think about themselves is in their business. So they’re not creating maximum value anymore and they don’t even know what meaning is beyond what and where they are now. So you, as you described it and thank you for doing that certainly seemed to me to embody this thing that I believe every entrepreneur really deserves, which is a dream exit, and so few of them like 80% plus, don’t get it. At least, don’t get it how I define it and how you described it so well. So, yeah, I don’t know. Do you agree with that? What’s your pulse on that?

46:27 – Marcus Kaulius (Guest)
Mike, I completely agree with you wholeheartedly. You know we get so tied in Our identity is so tied into our business. I see it every day. I felt it and, fortunately for me, I said wait, I one, being my authentic self, I knew I wasn’t feeling the fulfillment that I should be feeling If I’m truly supposed to be doing this. Still, I remember what the fulfillment felt like Because for years I loved what I did. I loved so much of it. I loved even the stressful moments Like it was so challenging at times. But I was like I meant for this, I was born for this, god created me to be this guy. But for about a year I was like no, this is not who I’m supposed to be anymore. And so I want to encourage people who feel that way.

47:21
What if there’s a new chapter supposed to be starting in your life? What if you’re supposed to play a new role? And just look into it a bit. What happened for me? And I know it happens for others because I’ve had so many of these conversations as soon as you start asking that, what if? And you start just peeling back the curtain and looking outside at this new role, it gets so exciting again. Yeah, sure, there might be a little bit of fear too, but wait, that’s all new. I’m comfortable here and there’s so much comfort and there’s money and there’s toys and there’s respect, and I’m comfortable here and and this, there’s so much comfort and there’s money and there’s toys and there’s respect, and I’m a I’m a powerful human being, yeah, but look at, there’s a new game starting over there. Wouldn’t you like to play that new game for a bit? Yeah, and there’s so much that you could take from this.

48:09
I think people fear so much like well, I’d be starting from zero, I’d be starting all over again. And it’s like hear so much like well, I’d be starting from zero, I’d be starting all over again. And it’s like who told you that lie? How is that true? I mean, are you saying you learned nothing in all those years in business? Of course not. So the next thing I go into, I’m starting way ahead. I’m not starting at grade one or kindergarten or even grade six. I’ve got more than a university education. I’ve got a master’s degree. No matter where I take that, it’s going to go so far, but it’s also going to be fun because it’s new and it’s exciting and hopefully you got a bit of a buyout. You got a little bit of cash, so you don’t have to start the way you did way back in the day, where you might’ve been bootstrapping it, where everything was so scary and one wrong move. That’s an exciting game to play.

49:00 – Mike Malatesta (Host)
Very exciting, yeah, so much of what’s learned has nothing to do with your product or service. Those aren’t the things that you really learned. What you really learned was how to impact people, how to think, how to process, how to do all kinds of things that a lot of other human beings struggle with and need someone to help them do it. Yes, so this might be going down a dead end, but I thought maybe so coincidentally, like a week ago, I listened to a podcast with Dr Peter Attia. I don’t know if you know Peter Attia that name. He’s a Canadian but he had this bodybuilder on from Vancouver whose name is Derek. He goes by just one name Derek D-E-R-E-K. Have you ever heard of him?

49:54 – Marcus Kaulius (Guest)
I might know him if I knew more about him, the fact that he goes by just one name, like Madonna. Yeah, like Madonna, yeah I don’t know if I know Derek.

50:04 – Mike Malatesta (Host)
Okay, Well, anyway they talked about all kinds of things, but a lot of it was about supplements, supplement-based, and it was way too much supplements, supplement based and it was a. It was way too much like too deep to for me. But supplements themselves have sort of a like I take a bunch of them, a lot of people take a bunch of them, but there’s also like this sort of I don’t want to. There’s a sketchiness about supplements. People don’t know what to trust and who. Who makes best supplements. Where are the pure ones? If you buy it on Amazon or you buy it here, like what he was saying, a lot of it is repackaged, just bought from China, repackaged, put a new label on it, ship it. And he obviously knew what he was talking about. You are an expert in this. You built a great company Help people understand what they should be looking for, careful about, focused on when it comes to supplementation of any kind. I love it.

51:07 – Marcus Kaulius (Guest)
So it’s funny how supplements have created their own category in people’s minds where they don’t think about it like they think about purchasing other things. So if you’re going to go purchase a new car and you’ve got the money in hand and you’re like this is a big purchase, right, You’re buying a car.

51:25 – Mike Malatesta (Host)
Yeah.

51:26 – Marcus Kaulius (Guest)
Don’t you want to know a little bit about the car company? Like, it’s one thing to go, hey, this car, it looks pretty and I heard it has power windows and a sunroof. That’s super exciting. Those are bells and whistles. Don’t you want to know who made that car? Where was it made? And let’s look a little bit deeper, like did they ever get charged with cheating? Did they ever get into lawsuits over creating crappy product? Of course we’d look into those things. I got 50 grand. I got $70,000 in my hand. I’m looking into that stuff and you would take that stuff serious. Like, actually three years ago there was a major recall because 45 people died because they made crappy brakes and blah, blah, blah. I’m not buying that car but for supplements.

52:12
For some reason people go oh, it has a sunroof and it has power windows. I’m going to buy it from that. What? Hold the phone. Don’t you want to know anything else? So my encouragement to you, if you’re going to be looking at supplements. One, you should be as skeptical about them as anything else. Two, do some research on the integrity of the company. I love talking about integrity because integrity is something you can’t hide and there is no 99% integrity. It’s you have it or you don’t. And companies that have it, they’re pristine and they’re like hey, come, look under our hood, we’ve got nothing to hide. The people who don’t, the many companies who don’t it should take you five minutes to see how brutal it is. Let me give you a quick example of what I’m talking about.

53:02
One of the, a very special year in Magnum’s history. It was quite a few years ago, but the CBC in Canada it’s our global broadcast or our national broadcasting channel they sent investigators in to a bunch of supplement stores and they bought a bunch of protein powders. They bought I think it was 50 different protein powders from different brands. They tested them all for the protein content Out of 50,. Do you know how many of them were actually to label claim Two, four Out of 50,. Do you know how many of them were actually to label claim Two, four Out of 50. How many were over? Oh, so here’s what was interesting. One Magnum was one of the four, and that’s one of the reasons we started to shoot up, because people were like, oh my goodness, you don’t just talk about integrity, there’s proof in this. But when these 46 other companies failed and they listed what was in it. Oh my goodness, like there were companies on the top of this list and they were huge names that I won’t repeat, but these were huge names that said, yeah, there was 30 grams of protein in a scoop. There was 14 grams of protein in the scoop less than half To me.

54:22
I’m going. Why is that company not out of business tomorrow? I said there would be this much. I’m doing less than half. Why? Because I’m going to pocket the rest. I’m going to buy a private jet. I deserve to go out of business, but no people kept buying. That company still exists today Blows my freaking mind. So just look into the integrity and you’re going to quickly find out who you should trust. And once you find the proof of the integrity, you’re going to fall in love with what they do. So you’ll fall in love with Magnum. You know everything that I built over those years. It’s still there. Many of the principles are still there, the reasons we make, the formulas, the way we do, the crazy amount of science that went into it. So look into those things. It wasn’t just well, we want to make a few dollars in this category, so this is what we made okay, well, I appreciate you taking us down that road because, uh, I bet it was very helpful.

55:19 – Mike Malatesta (Host)
The car example was really good. You know, due diligence, due diligence, yes, when, particularly on something you’re putting into your body, yes, due diligence. So, uh, your new thing, or your newest thing Play a Bigger Game. Your book came out on April 1st Pre-order.

55:40 – Marcus Kaulius (Guest)
It’s a pre-order right now.

55:42 – Mike Malatesta (Host)
You can go pick it up right now, oh got it Okay Play a Bigger Games the seven universal principles to experience real fulfillment and win at life. You’ve spent some time telling us about what those things mean to you not all seven but I guess what I want to know is the whole play a bigger game thing you’ve created. Is it about community? Is it about what is it about?

56:13 – Marcus Kaulius (Guest)
I think you’re on the right trail here. Yes, it’s definitely about community, it’s about mastermind, it’s about surrounding yourself with people who are like-minded, who want to grow, who want to play a bigger game. The whole purpose of the community, the whole purpose of my mastermind, the whole purpose of the book, is that. I know there are so many people out there. I know there’s so many people listening right now who are going. I know I should be playing a bigger game in life. I just know it. I know what I’m doing right now. The lot in life that I am experiencing is not all there is for me, and I was there for so many years. I felt so stuck, I felt in a rut, but I believed and I do believe in you, who is listening and who feels like they’re being called. Come, just experience a little bit, get a taste. When we give people a taste of our mastermind, give them a taste of the community. We do free days so people can come in and just have a feel, see what it’s like. People don’t want to leave. They’re not used to this experience anymore, where you’re around people with the same growth mindset, who are lifting each other up, who are pouring love on each other, keeping each other accountable, questioning each other in a loving way so that we can grow together. You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with, and that’s a really deep thought. You need to spend some time thinking about who are the people in my life who are lifting me up and if you are struggling to find the five, who’s going to lift you up and help you play a bigger game? Come spend some time with me. Let me be one of the five, let my community be one of the five. We will challenge you, you will play a bigger game. There will be discomfort, but boy, is there a lot of wins. We do a lot of celebrating and we learn. There’s so many lessons for us to learn and so many of us stopped learning when we were so young. We got out of school and we’re like I guess this is it. It’s crazy, man. We got so many years to experience wonderful things, real fulfillment, and one of the things that I deal with every single day, because I love working with these people and, more specifically, it’s men that usually experience what I’m about to say.

58:27
We were fed this idea that if you reach this level of financial wealth. All your other problems are going to go away. Just work hard, get this amount of money and you’re going to be so happy. Not once have I ever found that to be the case. Never have I spoken to someone who’s like it worked perfectly. I got this much money and everything else just happened to fall.

58:49
No, usually what happens is people have a wallet full of dollars and a house full of strangers, and it’s either their relationships that start to crumble or it’s their health that starts to crumble. But most importantly, I think they start looking around and they start going what have what has all this been for? What have I done with my life? So I want to be there with you and support you and help you experience real fulfillment. And real fulfillment.

59:16
Sure, there’s some financial win, there’s a lot of financial win. But more importantly, you start to see the rest of the stuff as equal, if not more, importance. You can have all the money in the world, and if you don’t have health, you have nothing. Tony Robbins says it this way the healthy man has a million dreams. The unhealthy man only has one Right. And how about relationships? If your relationships at home are garbage, you can’t have enough money to wash that over, to clean that up. So we’re here to support you in all these areas. You’re going to spend time with people who are experts at relationships, experts at being parents, experts in business, in health. That is how you’re going to get ahead. That is how you’re going to experience life to its fullest. That is what excites me.

01:00:07 – Mike Malatesta (Host)
That’s wonderful. A lot of people do believe that, particularly if you’re a business owner or you’re otherwise financially successful, that you don’t have to worry about meaning because once you have money, the meaning will come. And that is, in my experience, frequently untrue and even worse. More money without more meaning means more problems, bigger problems, not for everyone, but that’s definitely as much of a possibility as you magically finding meaning because someone you know paid you this much for your business or whatever. So play a bigger gamecom. That’s where you would like people to go to learn more about what you were just talking about, marcus. That’s where you would like people to go to learn more about what you were just talking about, marcus. Yes, before we go, is there anything that I should have asked you about? Or you want to leave us with that? I didn’t, or you’d like to leave?

01:01:05 – Marcus Kaulius (Guest)
us with. I just want to say you’re really great at what you do. I just want to thank you so much for having me here. This conversation has been amazing. I love where it was led. I don’t think there was anything missing, but I do want to conclude with this. It’s one of my favorite equations.

01:01:21
I’m going to leave everybody with K, which is knowledge, minus A, which is action, equals zero. You can have all the knowledge in the world, and if you don’t take action, you can end up with nothing. You can have no change. So take some action. Just start moving down a path, and one of the ways I love to describe this to people is on my journey.

01:01:46
I learned more than 90% of what I needed to know on the journey, so it’s important to do your research ahead of time, before you start walking. Sure, but it’s only going to be worth 10%. So how long do you want to wait and hold back your actual learning? The education starts when you start walking, and if you start moving forward, you’ll be amazed at how quickly you go. Oh, my goodness, I was focused here. Oh, I should be way over here, but you won’t know until you start moving. So just start moving and it doesn’t mean you have to go all in. It doesn’t mean you have to put every dollar you have into it, but just start moving down the path.

01:02:27
And when you start taking action, what’s so exciting? Not only will you learn, but you’re going to start building confidence. Because I’m a person who takes action and because I just moved forward, I learned so much. I’m ahead of all the people who didn’t take any action Right. And so here I am, 25 plus years into my career. I know I’m so far ahead of the other people who didn’t even start and there’s nothing special about me as far as, like well, I was born as the best marketer on the planet. I was born as the best. No, I learned all this stuff as I went and I’ve had some great success by just moving forward. So if you’re going to take anything from me today, take some action on it. I love it.

01:03:11 – Mike Malatesta (Host)
People are so afraid and if I don’t have A to Z figured out, I can’t move forward. Because I don’t have it figured out and they forget that A to B and B to C and C to D will teach you, show you the path to Z. It’s all about getting started. I like it. K minus A equals zero.

01:03:34
Marcus, thank you so much for coming on the show today and sharing your story, your wisdom, your experience and your joy. Got a lot of joy in your life. I like it a lot and I really do appreciate it. And to everyone listening, thank you for listening to today’s episode. I hope you got a lot from what Marcus had to share and I just want to leave you with this, as I do with every show. You’ve got greatness inside of you and I want to see you maximize that greatness every single day.

01:04:03
Hey, everybody, thanks for listening to the show and before you go, I just have three requests for you. One if you like what I’m doing, please consider subscribing or following the podcast on whatever podcast platform you prefer. If you’re really into it, leave me a review, write something nice about me, give me five stars or whatever you feel is most appropriate. Number two I’ve got a book. It’s called Ownership how Getting Selfish Got Me Unstuck. It’s an Amazon bestseller and I’d love for you to read it or listen to it on Audible or wherever else Barnes, noble, amazon you can get it everywhere. If you’re looking for inspiration that will help you unlock your greatness and potential, order or download it today so that you can have your very own copy and if you get it, please let me know what you think.

01:04:48
Number three my newsletter. I do a newsletter every Thursday and I talk about things that are interesting to me and or I give more information about the podcast and the podcast guests that I’ve had and the experiences that I’ve had with them. You can sign up for the podcast today at my website, which is my name, mikemalatesta.com. You do that right now. Put in your email address and you’ll get the very next issue. The newsletter is short, thoughtful and designed to inspire, activate and maximize the greatness in you.